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angryschnauzer · 4 years ago

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Stuck - Part 2

Summary: Following the development in your relationship from maid x client, you visit Agent Walker on his invitation, with no false pretences of what is expected

Pairing: August Walker x Female Maid Reader (no race or size described) Fandom; Henry Cavill, Mission Impossible: Fallout.

Warnings; NSFW, 18+, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, sex toys, dildo’s, butt plugs, masturbation, voyeurism, anal fingering, anal sex, creampie, Sugar Daddy relationship, (no use of ‘Daddy’ as a petname)

I do not operate a tag list, however please follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications. That way you’ll get an alert every time i post anything. Part 1 can be found HERE, Masterlist can be found on AO3 link HERE All typos are allowed to run wild and free

Stuck - Part 2

Ringing the doorbell you heard footsteps this time, and were able to prepare yourself for Mr Walker opening the door - or so you thought. When the door swung open you could not have prepared yourself for the sight of him in smart black pants and a crisp grey button down shirt, the top couple of buttons opened to reveal a teasing glimpse of chest hair, his tie hanging loose and unfastened around his neck. He looked you up and down, taking in how your breasts were pushed a little higher, your ass a little rounder from the way the heels made you stand, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as he stepped to one side;

“Please, do come in”

As you stepped past him you caught a waft of his aftershave, dark and musky, a hint of sandalwood and rosemary. You stood fidgeting, glancing around the apartment and seeing that it was sparkling clean, telling you that you’d be earning your money a different way today. You didn’t mind, not in the slightest. The $2000 tip he’d given you on your last visit had paid your credit card bill and you’d been able to make your rent on time for the first time in months.

When the parcel had arrived on your doorstep a week ago with a note from Mr Walker you’d quickly glanced around the hallway, no courier or delivery guy having been seen, almost nervous to find what was inside. When you had opened the parcel it had felt like christmas morning, so many little treats all individually wrapped, a note from the high end lingerie store saying that they hoped you enjoyed the parcel. That night you’d tried on the exquisite underwear set, marvelling how the bra gave you the most amazing cleavage, the half cups ending just at the right place for your nipples to peek over the top of the lace. The panties had looked innocent enough from the front, but at the back it was a series of elastic straps that caged in your ass, the crotch non-existent and it gave you no false pretenses about what they were intended for. Having unpacked all the other treats - lipstick, perfume, bath bombs and scented skin oil, your favourite chocolates - you came upon one final gift and an envelope. Opening the parcel first you let out a small squeak when you saw the heart shaped jewel shine in the light from your lamp, the heavy metal of the plug smooth and cool in the palm of your hand. Grabbing the envelope you opened it, your hands shaking;

“Enjoy your gifts. I’ll make a booking soon. August x”

Back in MR Walker’s apartment you were distracted as he stood behind you, the only tell that he was there was the sudden feel of body heat warming your back even though he wasn’t touching you. When he finally spoke his voice was low and quiet;

“You can back out now and there will be no hard feelings. But if you want to stay and continue i can guarantee it will be worth your while in so many ways. So, what will it be?”

You could feel your hands shaking with nerves, hell, even excitement. Taking a deep breath you slid one foot back and moved until your ass was pressing against Mr Walkers crotch;

“I’d like to stay please. I very much enjoyed the gifts, Sir”

“Good girl”

He wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you flush with his chest as his lips found your neck, working his tongue and teeth over your jugular as his hands gripped at your hips before moving to the zipper on the back of your dress. The metallic rasp of it being pulled down filled the hallway, the cool air hitting your heated skin soon soothed as he trailed his fingertips down the exposed deep v of skin. Pushing the formal maid’s dress down your shoulders you let it fall to the floor, the deep groan of appreciation that rumbled up through his throat making your body tingle with excitement.

“You look fantastic, i made the right choice with this set” he took hold of your asscheek; “Are you wearing all of it?”

Bending a little at the waist you pushed your ass out and felt as he pushed his hand between your legs, first touching your pussy before moving back and pressing against the jewel of the plug;

“Hmmmn very good. My good girl follows instructions well. Now put your hands on the wall and stick your ass out a little more”

“Yes Sir”

Stepping out of your dress you turned and laid your palms flat on the board and batten walls, this time the sound of a smaller zipper filling the silence before your legs were kicked apart and a hand pressed against the small of your back. Bending your spine you pushed your ass out, gasping as you felt the thick blunt tip of his cock nudging against your swollen petals, searching, seeking out its destination before pushing in fully in one firm thrust.

“Fuck. Your pussy is as tight as i remembered” he muttered behind you, yet you were unable to respond, your body tensing around the deep penetration that felt so good. You felt him spread his legs and set off at a brutal pace, fucking into you from behind, with each thrust his pelvis would push the plug into your ass stimulating you even more.

There were no words, just grunts and moans, and you could feel your legs starting to shake as an orgasm approached rapidly;

“I’m coming…”

“Not yet you aren’t… you’ll come when i tell you to come”

“”Yes… Sir…”

Gritting your teeth you tried to will the building orgasm to subside, but the way you were being fucked made it hard. Your left leg started to shake violently as you tried to hold back, Mr Walker ramming into you from behind before he finally grunted;

“Cum for me now”

You didn’t think you could orgasm on demand, but as you relaxed just the tiniest amount the levy broke and you came around his cock. That in turn set his orgasm off, and you were pushed against the wall as he came deep inside you, thrusting harshly into you as you felt him spasm deep within your walls.

When he pulled out you winced, quickly closing your legs as you felt his seed already start to drip out of you, and as he tucked himself back into his dress pants he winked;

“Good girl. Keep me inside” he reached for your hand; “Now come, a glass of champagne”

He led you to the large lounge, the pristine white leather couches and the soft net curtains giving the room a bright yet muted appearance. One wall was completely made up of floor to ceiling mirrors, and there were just a few houseplants scattered around the place to break up the stark white of the room.

“Sit” he called out from the kitchen before you heard the quiet pop of the cork.

“But… i’ll make a mess of your leather…” you called back, only to hear his voice as he approached holding two glasses of the golden frizzante.

“Doesn’t matter. For what i have planned you’ll be making even more of a mess than just a smear of my cum”

He handed you the glass and gently tapped his own against it before raising it to his lips, you followed and hummed as the bubbles smoothed over your tongue. He cocked his head and smiled, yet it felt like the look a viper would give its prey before it struck;

“Now, i said sit”

You did as he instructed, perching your ass on the edge of the couch before remembering the plug and wincing as you moved back slightly so you could sit on the whole of your buttocks to relieve some of the pressure in your ass.

Mr Walker hadn’t moved, and you were now eye level with his crotch, the outline of his cock clear to see as the fine fabric clung to him. Licking your lips you quickly sipped at your glass again before he tucked a finger beneath your chin to pull your gaze up to his face;

“Don’t worry, you’ll be getting another load soon… i have something else planned first… tell me a little about yourself…”

He stepped away and you watched him as he moved around the room, picking up a gift box and setting it down on the low table in front of you just out of reach, but saying nothing until he sat on the couch opposite you;

“I asked you to tell me about yourself…”

Stumbling on your words you tried to explain a little, unsure if he wanted a professional or a personal explanation, your arrangement seemingly a mixture of the two already. He sat with one leg hooked at an angle over the other knee, quietly sipping his champagne, his gaze intense as it never left you once. Finally he cleared his throat;

“Would you like to open your gift?”

Reaching to set your glass down, you took the box and rested it on your knees, pulling off the ribbon and lifting the lid, the gasp that fell from your lips immediately followed by a grin and somewhat unladylike snort of laughter, before focusing back on what was contained;

“Oh my god…”

Glancing up you saw Mr Walker eyeing you suspiciously, before you wrapped your hand around the contents and pulled it from the packaging, laying it across both of your palms as you gazed down at the heavy rubber dildo. It was so detailed, every vein and ridge perfectly formed, before a thought suddenly struck you and your eyes went wide;

“Is this… is this you?”

“I had it cast just for you” he settled both feet flat on the floor and you watched as he settled comfortably, his thighs wide apart; “Why don’t you give it a test run? Show me how well you take it?”

For a moment you simply held it, wide eyed at the thought of performing such an intimate act, but shook that thought from your mind as you settled back against the cushions, hooking both feet onto the edge of the low glass table in front of you, your heels hanging over the edge as you parted your thighs and trailed a hand down to your core, rubbing against the wet lace that was soaked from Mr Walker fucking you just a few minutes before. Lifting the dildo you considered it for a moment before spitting on it, bringing your soaked hand up and working the combined wetness over the thickness, pulling your panties to one side and resting the wide tip at your entrance.

Looking up you maintained eye contact as you carefully pressed the first couple of inches in and breached your tight entrance, your jaw falling slack as you felt the familiar yet different stretch. You carefully worked the rubber phallus back and forth, pushing a little more each time, helping to lubricate the shaft with your own essence as it filled you. When it was inserted enough you grasped the heavy ballsack, your other hand teasing your nipples as they peeked over the lace of your bra, trailing it down to your panties to rub at your engorged clit.

Working your body in the same way you had done so many times in private, thinking of Agent August Walker - even before your first sexual encounter with him - it was now surreal as you watched him palming himself through his clothing as you fucked yourself with the rubber imitation of him.

You could feel yourself getting close, the air in the room thick with lust as the only sounds were heavy breathing and the wet sounds coming from between your legs, when he called out;

“Stop”

With a whine you did. Pausing, waiting for his instruction;

“Take it out and stand”

The obscene sucking squelch as you removed the dildo from your aching core filled the room, before you set it down on the box and stood on shaky legs.

“Come here”

Your legs felt like jelly, crossing the room and standing before him, watching as he parted his legs further to make room for you;

“What would you like me to do Sir?”

“On your knees”

Settling obediently between his thick thighs, you were grateful for the extra long pile rugs beneath you cushioning your knees, resting your hands cautiously on his muscled thighs and looking up at him with wide eyes as he spoke;

“Lets see how good that mouth of yours is?”

Watching as he unzipped himself, at this angle his dick looked even bigger and more imposing than the feeling of it inside you. Shuffling closer you wrapped your hands carefully around the hot shaft, admiring how he was already rock hard and weeping with need. Leaning in you lapped at the clear bead that had pooled at the tip, tasting both him and yourself on his skin. Licking your lips to lubricate them you took a deep breath and descended on him, his girth stretching your lips almost painfully, working your tongue over the silken flesh. He gently smoothed his thumb over your cheek, wiping away a tear you hadn’t even realised you had shed;

“Doing so well Princess… your mouth is as good as your cunt is…” his other hand wrapped in your hair and he started to control your actions, his hips rising in sharp movements as he started to fuck your face. He maintained eye contact as he held your head, moving you how he wanted;

“Cry those tears for me, i know they’re not tears of pain or discomfort… its just overwhelming, isn’t it?”

You couldn’t answer, your mouth and throat too busy being occupied by his heavy flesh, but you nodded and let out a tiny grunt; it felt so good, so depraved to be used like this, and as his thrusts got faster you prepared yourself for what was to come next… but instead at the last moment he pulled you off of him.

Gasping for breath you were wide eyed, no doubt your makeup ruined but in the quiet of his apartment you watched him as he gritted his teeth and regained his composure. Finally he spoke;

“Turn around and sit on my lap… legs together and bounce on my dick”

You stood and turned, backing up and bending over before he pressed a hot palm to your naked thigh;

“Stop. Bend over. Let me look at that silken purse”

Knees together you did as he asked, letting out a gasp as he ran a calloused thumb over the pouting lips of your sex, already swollen from the events that had led to that very moment, and as he teased out your nectar he smeared it on your skin.

“Very nice, holding treasures within…”

Dipping his thumb inside he drew it out and hummed in appreciation at seeing his cum mixed with your own on it, before tugging at the jewel of your plug and smearing his thumb under the rim to your sensitive opening.

“Hmmmn, another treasure waiting to be pillaged… but first…”

He took hold of your hip, pulling you back as he held his dick and lined you up with it, and at that hot searing touch of flesh you gasped. You were more than ready for him, craving his touch, your body accepting him as you stopped holding back and allowed gravity to take over until you were sat flush on his lap, speared deep and aching with need.

His warm hands smoothed over the soft globes of your ass before pushing against you back;

“Bounce for me Princess”

You did as he asked, starting off slow, the warmth of his palm against your back spurring you on as you started to move faster, your pussy dripping around him and with each wet slap of your bodies you knew you’d coated his balls and taint with your juices. On one downward fall you landed hard, groaning as you ground your ass against him and his hands suddenly clamped down on your hips to keep you flush with him;

“Stay”

You felt the tug on the plug in your ass, moaning as you felt it being pulled gently but persistently, moaning as you stretched at the fullest part before the somewhat disappointing relief as it was removed completely. Out of the corner of your eye you could see him set it down carefully on the small table to the side, and grab a small bottle of lube that had been sitting there behind a plant pot. You braced yourself for the inevitable.

---

August.

He’d paced the hallways of his apartment from the moment his hidden camera’s had picked up that you’d left your building; checking traffic cam’s and building surveillance to track your progress. He kept telling himself he shouldn’t be nervous; he was in charge and you were simply a plaything… and yet when he’d heard the doorbell ring his stomach had done a little flip and he’d had to take a few seconds to calm his racing heart.

What had followed had been that of his wildest dreams; a woman pliable and willing, and yet still independent with her own thoughts. He’d had women simp over him and he’d had to guide them at every step, weak wristed and prudish with their own sexual desires… but with you… you were different.

For the time that had followed since you’d walked through his door he had told himself he couldn’t get too attached, this was a sexual relationship, one that suited his needs and that he controlled, but with every passing minute he could feel himself falling deeper and deeper.

And now here you were, sat on his lap and he was balls deep inside you, feeling your cunt tremble around his achingly hard dick, and at the sight of your tight back door winking as he’d removed the plug he’d almost blown his load right there and then.

Carefully pouring the thick lube on the crease of your ass he watched for a moment as it slowly ran down, before catching it with his thumb and massaging against your asshole, watching as the stretched muscle accepted him so eagerly. He worked the muscle open, moving from his thumb to two fingers then three, your moans as you accepted him causing him to grit his teeth so not to blow his load right there and then in your unprotected cunt. And he knew you were still unprotected, he’d kept track of your appointments and knew you hadn’t updated your birth control, it had been a mere three weeks since your last visit, and even if you hadn’t figured it out he sure had.

He could feel that you were ready, lifting you up before positioning himself at your prepared hole;

“Just relax Princess, i know you can do it”

He spoke softly, quietly… reassuring you as he watched you slowly stretching around him, and that first inch as he slipped inside you it took all his control not to slam deep inside your guts.

With one hand under your buttcheek he held you up as he could feel your body stretching, growing accustomed to his girth inside you, and as you started to relax he would slip inside a little further.

He was basking in the moment, the lewd and salacious nature of something he had done many times before, yet this time it felt different; the connection was there this time. As his mind reeled from the realisation that this time he was going to have to take into account his own feelings, you turned and grinned at him, and with a sly smirk sank down until you were fully seated with his dick filling your ass;

“OH FUCK…” August cursed, his hands flying to your hips and his head rolling back to rest on the couch as he fought not to blow his load right there and then in the dark recesses of your ass.

Letting out another string of curses, he gritted his teeth and let out a low growl, his eyes dark with desire as he watched you start to bounce up and down on him, his gaze drawn to where your tight hole was stretched so much to accommodate his thick girth. He knew that if you kept bouncing like that he’d cum in seconds, and it was too good to let his body deceive him. Wrapping his arms around your torso he pulled you back;

“Shhhh… slow down Princess…”

You whimpered as he laid you against his chest, his dick slipping out of your ass a little before he bucked his hips and pushed slowly back into you. With one arm wrapped around your torso he trailed the other down your stomach before he sought out your sensitive pearl, rubbing at your clit;

“August…” you whined, feeling the intense pleasure shoot through your body; “I’m gonna cum”

“Don’t… not yet…” he gasped out; “Please… wait…”

“I can’t…”

Your back arched and you felt your mind leave your body for a split second, vaguely aware of the rumble in Mr Walkers chest as your orgasm set off his own, filling your ass with thick ropes of his seed as you lay prone on his chest.

Finally through bliss hazed eyes you turned to look at him, surprised when his lips met yours for a soft kiss. His lips were delicate and you could taste a hint of bourbon lingering on his tongue that the champagne couldn’t mask, the moment only broken by the feel of his softening shaft slipping from your body with a rather graphic squelch.

Now that your bodies were no longer connected he shifted you into his arms as he cradled you in his lap, one strong arm holding you as the other traced patterns over your skin with sensitive fingertips. You watched as he seemingly memorised the plains and curves of your body by feel alone, before he finally spoke;

“Let me run you a bath”

August

He��d carried you to his bathroom, running a deep warm bath as he’d helped you undress, rubbing the balls of your feet and you sighed as the pressure of the day seemed to slip from your mind. After helping you into the bath he’d massaged your shoulders as you’d soaked in the tub, before taking a soft natural sponge and gently washed you.

When the water had started to cool he’d helped you out and gazed as the water droplets had run down your skin, reminding him of a maiden emerging from the sea on a sun kissed island. Wrapping you in an oversized fluffy robe he smiled;

“I’ve set some clothing out for you on my bed, i’ll be right out once i’ve showered”

You nodded and quietly thanked him, and he was finally alone with his thoughts as he quickly stripped and stepped into the large shower enclosure. The water was cold as it shot out of the jets, too impatient to let it warm up as he quickly rinsed the residue of his efforts from his body, his mind pensive as he wondered how he would broach the proposal he had for you. Quickly finishing up he stepped out and roughly dried himself, wrapping a towel around his waist before venturing into his bedroom, smiling to himself as he saw you preening in the mirror;

“Looks good on you”

You turned and smiled at his words and he could have sworn he felt his heart swell just a little more at the look on your face, watching as you bounced across the room and planted a kiss to his lips;

“Thank you…”

He watched as you smoothed a hand over your breasts and down your hips, the expensive loungewear far overpriced but the quality shone through as it clung to your curves. Knowing you were naked beneath it had arousal swelling his length again, but he gritted his teeth to will it away, at least for a while;

“Looks beautiful on you Princess”

Searching through the coffee station in August’s kitchen you found a box of mixed herbals teas, and once you’d figured out his over engineered kettle it was soon warming up to get to a steady boil. Looking around the kitchen you spied the half drunk bottle on the counter, surprised when it stated it was zero alcohol when you felt a pair of warm arms wrap around your waist and a mustachioed mouth trace kissed up your neck;

“There’s still champagne…”

His deep voice resonated through your spine, and you slowly spun in his arms before you wrapped yours around his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his lips;

“I need something to soothe my throat after all the screaming you made me do”

“Fair enough” he said with a smile, giving your ass a squeeze; “Go take a seat, i’ll bring it over to you”

A few minutes later he set a steaming mug down in front of you, sitting beside you as he cleared his throat;

“I have a proposition for you…”

Blowing on the hot tea you raised an eyebrow as he continued;

“I’d like to keep you”

“Keep me?”

He shifted on his seat;

“I mean… come to an arrangement… an exclusive arrangement”

“So, like a sugar Daddy thing?” you asked

“Yes, as in a kept-woman”

You paused for a moment, considering what he was telling you before gently setting down your tea;

“I like the sound of this, but i want you to be specific with what you mean, what will be provided, and what any repercussions are”

Over the next fifteen minutes he calmly explained that you could give up your other maid jobs, he would pay your rent and expenses, and if you desired so could follow your passion for the arts. He would not expect you to be a live in whore-come-maid, but made it clear he would like a sexual relationship, but only on your terms and with your full consent at every instance.

“How do you feel about that?” he asked as he finally finished detailing what seemed like the dream arrangement.

You smiled at him as you shifted on the seat, straddling his lap and wrapping your arms around his shoulders;

“I think i feel pretty good about it”

Your lips met and the kiss was deep and passionate, bodies entwined and arousal growing when suddenly a loud ringing came from the table, August’s phone furiously vibrating against the glass.

“Fuck… Sorry, i need to get that”

August quickly lifted and set you down on the couch as he stood and answered the phone, listening intently before ending the call with a curt confirmation. Crossing the room he knelt at the side of the couch;

“I’m so sorry, i’ve got to go… my work…”

“I get it” you interrupted; “I know your line of work means sudden assignments”

“I’ve got to be at the pentagon in an hour, but your place is on the way so i can drop you home, this isn’t how i wanted today to end, but its the job…”

“I understand”

Twenty minutes later you were standing on the sidewalk outside your building, watching as August’s plain black Audi disappeared into traffic, wanting to wave but he’d said not to. Your phone chimed and your eyes went wide when you saw the ‘tip’ he’d given you, more than three months rent and a promise to call when he was off mission. You had never imagined you’d be in this situation, but you weren’t going to pass up the opportunity.

What you didn’t see was the person watching you from the shadows, already knowing you were their target, the perfect leverage.

#august walker x reader #august walker fanfic #august walker smut #henry cavill #august walker

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im-constantly-fangirling-backup · 3 years ago

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Promotion

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Requested: Yes; I lost the original request, sorry :(

Warnings: Swear Words

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: Sorry about the repost, for some reason the old version got deleted so I’m reposting it :) I tried to make the reader badass but like I don’t know how to do that so I guessed. I hope you guys love this!!

Summary: The reader storms into the Garrison which pisses off Tommy, but when he sees what has gotten you so angry and watches your response, he can’t help but be impressed.

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The Garrison seemed to be the hub of all the Peaky Blinders and the people that wanted to meet with them. People were walking in with friends on their arms and out stumbling, drunkenly walking their newfound date to the closes private space they could find. And in the midst of all that celebration, you had walked in with the biggest scowl on your face- a contrast that Tommy easily picked up on from where he was leaning against the countertop of the bar. “What’s got ya so pissed, love?” he asked you, sipping on his whiskey. You sighed. “Nothing,” you grumbled, signaling to Grace that you wanted a glass of whiskey. “Yet,” you said under your breath. Tommy caught that whisper but ignored it, opting to take another swing of his drink. He had noticed every time you walked into the Garrison, you walked in with a sour face instead of your usual bright one. It bothered him that you didn’t smile as much anymore when you were there, but Tom was never a man good with words. So he simply let you stew in your anger, but made sure to brush your hand every now and then to remind you that he was there if you wanted to rant. He might not be able to talk, but he could listen. “Why hello there, love!” you and Tommy heard a deep, baritone voice say from behind you. Turning around, you saw a man with crooked teeth smiling abashedly at you, his eyes lingering on your chest too long for it to be a casual observation. Your nose scrunched up from the smell of alcohol reeking in his breath. “What the hell do you want, Trevor?” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Tommy’s eyebrows raise slightly in shock, but when you noted his slight scowl you knew he was irritated. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Trevor held his hands up in mock surrender. “Just askin’ how you’ve been after all these years, love, nothing more. Certainly nothin’ to get all feisty over.” You grit your teeth before smiling at him cockily. “Yeah, now that you’ve done that, can you fuck off?” You added a bit of politeness into your voice- just enough to patronize him. “Hey,” you heard Tommy say. “Calm down, will you love? I don’t need another bar fight on my hands.” His voice was laced with frustration and anger, although his face stayed neutral. The normal glint that was housed in his eyes disappeared, replaced by indifference. It was almost like the deep ocean of his blue eyes froze over into ice. You smiled at him the same way you smiled at Trevor: with a hint of condescension. Honestly, it was a miracle that Tom didn’t shoot a bullet in between your brows at your expression. “Why don’t you stay out of things that aren’t your fucking business, Tom?” Tom clenched his jaw before turning back to his whiskey. “If it’s under me bar’s roof, it’s me fuckin’ business, love.” Trevor chuckled, causing both you and Tommy’s heads to snap towards him. “You let him call you love? What are you, his whore?” You bit your lip out of anger so hard it drew blood, the tang of copper running over your tongue. You tried to focus on the taste in an effort to not cause a scene; if you did cause a bar fight, you’d have to deal with an angry Thomas Michael Shelby, which was much worse than what you were dealing with right now. “Look, Trevor, what do you want?” You arched your eyebrow. Trevor shrugged. “Just wanted to see ya, I swear-” “You never talk to me unless you want something from me, so how about you just tell me and I can be on my merry way?” Trevor’s eyes darkness slightly, his usual energetic (and annoying) bravado slipping slightly. “I need some money.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips. “What? So you can go and spend it on more drugs and tequila? No fucking way.” Trevor’s lip curled slightly, and you noticed his fingers twitched as if wanting to curl up into fists. “Don’t fucking humiliate me in front of Mr. Shelby!” Another laugh tumbled out of you, this one full of much more bitterness than the last. “Why? You saw no problem humiliating me in front of my father? Consider us even on that front, Trevor.” Tommy choked on his whiskey slightly, now

understanding why you were being so hostile and angry whenever Trevor was in the Garrison. You had run away from London after a man there- Trevor, apparently- had started the rumor that you recently had an attempted abortion that didn’t work, leaving you pregnant. Although you were only 19 at the time, you weren’t an idiot and eventually understood that he was making you unmarriable to everyone except him. He couldn’t raise his status, so he lowered yours. He would marry you, thereby securing all the riches your family had for himself. Thomas cleared his throat. “I think you need to leave.” His words implied that Trevor had a choice, but his deep and firm voice communicated what his words didn’t: if Trevor didn’t leave of his own free will, he’d be dragged out against it. Trevor gulped. “Please, love-” You shook your head no. “I gave you money that last time, Trevor. ‘S not my fault you can’t budget for shit. So if you want money, get a fucking job.” “If you give me money, I’ll go back to your dad and tell him I lied. I swear, love, I will just please!” Trevor practically begged, a tear slipping out the corner of his eyes. You took in a deep breath, placing your hand on top of Thomas’s when he made a move to get up. “Look, Trevor, I don’t want a fucking apology. I don’t want you to tell my father that you were lying. I want you to leave me the fuck alone.” You stepped closer to Trevor, letting your hand fall off the counter. “If I see you ever again,” you said threateningly, letting your breath fan out over his face, “You’ll only have one good leg.” You turned around and fidgeted with your now empty whiskey glass, tilting and watching the sunlight hit the glass. “If you want money, get a job. You’re smart enough to find you, I’m sure. If you were smart enough to manipulate my family, I’m sure you can get a fucking job.” You picked up Tom’s whiskey glass and downed it in one gulp. “Fuck off, Trevor. And remember my threat, because I will follow up on it. Starting in ten seconds.” You didn’t see Trevor run across and away from the Garrison, but you heard the quick clicks of his shoes against the wood. Turning around after ten seconds, you were pleased to find him gone. Thomas cleared his throat and turned to you. He eyed his whiskey glass that still rested in your hand but made no comment. “This is going to sound really fuckin’ creepy,” he began, “but that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” You chuckled and then groaned. “I fucking hate that guy.” “I can tell.” You hummed. “Still pissed at me for how I talked to him? Or are we good?” Tom turned back to the bar, asking Grace to refill both of your glasses. “I want to give you a promotion, love. Your potential’s wasted as a secretary.” You sipped at your now refilled whiskey. “Hmm, wouldn’t people think I fucked my way to the top?” “If you’d scare them off like you did Trevor,” Thomas pointed out, “I don’t think a single person would voice their doubts.” You nodded. “Then I accept, Tom.” Thomas grinned and extended his hand. “You’re now Y/N Shelby, my second in command.” You laughed and shook his hand. “If screaming at Trevor was all it took to impress you,” you teased, “I would have hunted him down a year ago.” Tom sipped at his whiskey and chuckled. “You about done with that drink, love? I was thinking we could celebrate your promotion,” he said suggestively, winking at you when you side glanced at him. You felt hot, a slight blush making its way on your face. “What are we waiting for then?”

#backup #backup blog #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #thomas shelby fluff #tommy shelby fluff #peaky blinders imagine

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kittehkwrites · 4 years ago

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Cranky

Summary: Erik does not understand the importance of nap-time.

Warnings: Fluff, dad!Erik, Soft!erik

Before your son was born you thought you’d be the mother of a momma’s boy or somethin... Boy were you wrong.

From in the womb, your baby boy would only calm down at the sound of his father’s timber voice.

“Aye lil man, yo momma’s tired right now and you doin all that kickin is keeping her up.” He’d say all serious but you couldn't help but smile at how he was acting and he followed on with “i’m gonna need you to bring it down a few notches” At that, your son would kick back at his father’s hand and the look on Erik’s face was too funny.

it had your stomach shaking and the little boy inside you pushing his hands and feet inside of you so that you could both feel and see his clear displeasure at being told to relax.

“Don’t get fresh lil boy.” You had to let a little ‘oop’ out when his voice got deeper and your thighs clenched up since it’s been a while. Ain’t his fault, the doctor just said to lay off it since the last time you guys went “a bit rough” and they didn’t want to chance an early birth.

The baby relaxed the same way you did when he used his authoritative tone.

“That’s right lil man.” He said after feeling the baby calm down at his command. He was smiling at you when he caught your eyes and you smiled back when he started to caress the bump caring your “future prince” as he’d always call him, since Erik stated he was the King and you’re his Queen so ‘lil man’ is the prince.

“Erik. You better make it up to him before he takes it out on me.”

“You lucky.” He said with a look like ‘what you think this is?’ But he saw your stern face and he remembered the nights of discomfort increasing since the baby was getting closer and he didn’t like you being in pain or uncomfortable during what was supposed to be a beautiful moment so he did what he could in hopes it’d pacify the baby for the night.

“Aye baby boy”- you always thought it was cute when he said that-” you know daddy loves you, right?” He pulled back from the close proximity to your stomach, waiting for the little hand or footprint to press against his large hand.

“Right?” He would look to you and you’d rub your underbelly to get the baby to respond to his now pouting father. You're convinced your baby inherited his attitude from, which would mean he’d be bratty from time to time because they can’t handle restrictions to their freedom.

“Come on baby boy. Daddy’s out here pouting”- He shoved you a bit and you just let out a bit of a scoff before continuing- “and momma can’t sleep with y’all fighting at each other” A little more rubbing and your little boy was pushing out his foot to meet the spot in which both you and your husbands hands were sat on your underbelly.

“I love you lil man. Can’t wait to meet you when you get here.” And with that, he’d put a little kiss on your belly before coming up to you, hands still on your stomach and fingers still brushing against the stretch marks that laid on the sides of your belly, and give you a soft kiss that gave you the same sparks as the first time you both kissed.

“I love you too baby.” He said before pecking your lips “don't forget it.” He said before turning off the bedside lamp and then laying behind you before letting sleep take over the both of you.

That was approximately 8 months ago.

The baby is now 6 months and your husband was a damn hog.

“Erik! Give me my baby!”

You and your husband have been playing an impromptu game of hide-and-seek with you son, Erik initiating the game after you wanted to put the baby down for a nap before heading to your parents house for family day.

“He’s mines too” He’d call out quickly before turning back to your son in his hands, continuing to make faces at the little boy and getting squeals of joy from the little body.

“Not for long you shit!” You huffed out as you started to make your way up the stairs, following the baby laughs. You were just tired and your husband wanted to annoy you, as you were convinced no man would keep the baby up for this long and not want to pass off their child to the mother.

“He needs to sleep or else he’ll be cranky and I already have to deal with you! I don’t need to be dealing with the both of y’all at once, plus my family members coming up to me afraid to ask you what’s wrong or tell me how to raise my baby!” You continued, finally approaching the two bodies located in your husbands office.

He gave you a look as he saw your slightly angered and annoyed expression, but he didn’t care.

He had has lil man and his momma could stay mad, he thought.

“Babe. It’ll be alright. He don’t give no trouble, right lil man? Tell yo momma to go lay down before she pops a vessel.” He said in that ‘baby’ voice that annoyed the crap out of you but you couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow up at the nonsense spewing from your husbands mouth.

So you nodded your head, went over to the baby and checked his diaper before kissing him on the forehead and making your way out of the room.

He don’t even know.

Just as you said, so it happened.

You guys reached your family gathering and guess what happened within the first 20 minutes of greetings from aunts, uncles, grandparents and such?

If you guessed a cranky baby, then you were very right.

“Baby?” You ignored your husband who now had his signature stoic expression placed on his face, but it slowly formed into a confused scowl at the jerky limbs and loud hollering coming from the sleepy child who, may I remind you, ‘don’t give no trouble.’, according to your big headed husband.

“Baby? Your so-”

“-oh now he's my son? i thought you had that covered? Correct me if i'm wrong but didn't you say he didn't give any trouble?” You were making sure he’d hear the judgement in your voice at his foolish comments made earlier.

“Yea bu-”

“-but nothin. Handle it before he ‘pops a vessel’” You said before seeing one of your favourite cousins and going to them, leaving your husband in a state of confusion while your son just wanted to sleep.

This went on for another 15 mins before your cousin and a couple other relatives came over and asked what erik did to the baby.

You simple said “He wouldn’t let me put the baby down for a nap.” which resulted in a few head shakes and inhales from the surrounding bodies, knowing that a nap could be the best thing for the baby and the parent.

“Girl go help that man. He probably over there trying to give the baby commands like some drill sergeant.”

“Don’t do my man like that” You couldn’t help but laugh at the way they all saw erik as this military man but to you he would always be your big softie, especially after the birth of your son. He just showed his love differently than others and you didn’t fault him for it.

You waited another two minutes before gulping down the rest of the juice in your cup before heading to your husband and distressed baby.

“Alright papa. Momma’s hear. I know, i know. Daddy doesn’t have the magic touch huh? Maybe he’ll listen to me won't he? wont he? That’s right. Come on papa, nap time.” You said, taking him out the grasp of your husband after washing your hands in the kitchen sink and drying them off once you reached to the two inside.

You checked his diaper and it was dry, probably changed before you got here since your husband probably thought he had a soiled diaper. You also saw the half empty bottle of milk in the baby bag near where you were seated on the couch and chalked it up to your husband attempting to silence the cries of the infant.

You had placed him on your legs once you got comfortable on the couch. Fingers running over his eyebrows, his cheeks, his nose and back up to his forehead and ears in the soothing motion. Within 5 minutes he was sleeping and your husband couldn’t be happier.

“Baby”

“Yes mr know-it-all” You responded smartly, not taking your eyes off the small body in your lap.

“Don’t get smart now.” You had to refrain from clenching your thighs together and looked at your husband with challenging eyes.

You saw him deflate slightly once he remembered he was in the wrong.

“I’ll listen next time.” You let out a little hum and turned back to your son in your lap.

You just sat in awe at the life you created with the man next to you. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t realise your husband had grabbed your chin softly before turning your face to his, placing the sweetest, most gentle kiss on your lips that left you weak once he pulled back.

“I love you” He said. That glint in his deep eyes made you swoon like it had when you first met him at the black owned coffee shop near the outreach centre.

“I love you too” You said softly before smiling at the grin that broke out on his face after knowing you weren’t so mad with him.

Hey y’all!

Hope your week started off alright and that you’ve enjoyed your weekend😊

This is the main account that i’ll be posting on in regards to my written work because i couldn’t interact as i wanted to on my side-blog.

But I won’t be deleting anything on that blog, im just moving over to this one.

Let me know what you thought of this soft imagine and who you’d like me to write for or just ask me anything😁

Remember to like, share and/or comment and be safe!

Love y’all and thanks for the support.

-K💜

#kittehkwrites #erik killmonger #erik killmonger x reader #erik stevens x reader #black reader #black!reader #dad!erik killmonger #soft imagine

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jamesbuchananbarnesslut · 4 years ago

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Pierce’s Maid - Ch. 1 - The Introduction

Paring: Winter Solider x Female Reader

Words: 2,517

Summary: You are Pierce’s maid but run into an unexpected visitor one day when going to clean.

Warnings: smut, slightly non-con, a/b/o dynamics, knotting, marking, mating

Tiny Tag List: @navybrat817 @whisperlullaby @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @oloreaa

Notes: This is my first time writing smut or fanfiction please be nice. I also want to say a huge thank you to all the ladies who encouraged this! I love you all so much and hope you enjoy!!

Master List

Series Master List

——————————————————————————

I awoke to the sun peeking through my curtains, knowing it shouldn't be much after eight o'clock. Meaning I had just enough time to eat and get ready for work, without being too far behind schedule. I manage to haphazardly make my way down the stairs and putting together something to eat. Which per usual just happens to be a bowl of cereal, something to help scarf down my pills. After that I manage to make it back to my bedroom and throw on some work clothes. Which just happens to be some leggings and a t-shirt. The entire dread of today seeping into my skin, I know this is the last day I have to work before I have a week off for my heat, but I just feel terrible already and know it's not going to go well. Even though my drive is peaceful, I still can't help that itching irritation at the back of my mind. Leading to a spiral of thoughts, that end at I have no other option than to make it through today as quick as possible and everything will be okay.

I had originally worked for a larger company that outsourced maids and would typically clean multiple houses a day or throughout the week. That was up until I met my current employer Mr. Pierce, I cleaned his house once and that was it. He told me he'd pay me more than the current maid service I was working for and that I'd only ever have to clean his house. Which was an offer I couldn't pass up; I was starting to wear myself thin trying to clean so many houses and just scraping by. Mr. Pierce gave me the opportunity to get my life back together and finally have time for myself. Something I really couldn't complain about. Although he was a cleanly man, he was rather suspicious, only communicated with me through texts and notes, and hated my smell so much I could only clean his house during his work hours. So, I typically came by Monday through Friday and touched up different parts of the house every day.

As I pulled up to his house another bout of eerie shivers ran over me, I couldn't help but feel as if I was being watched. Reminding myself I had a week off after this shift, I shook off the feeling and began to trudge my way inside. With Pierce being an alpha, I had gotten comfortable being around his scent and tried to limit how much I scented while I cleaned. But as soon as I unlocked the door an entirely new smell hit me, it was nothing like Pierce's, his typically mistress's, or business partner's. A mix of sage and pine, coming off what had to be another alpha and one close to his rut. None of this felt right nor did I think it would be a smart idea to clean the house. Pierce would really be furious if I scented his house during my heat and the scent of whatever alpha was inside was going to cause it. Right as I were about to pull out my phone and call Pierce to explain the dilemma a hand snatched my wrist yanking me inside.

Even though I tried screaming a hand was over my mouth before I could even get any noise out, as if they were anticipating it. And then a gruff voice was in my ear, "Pierce said he told his little maid take her vacation early and yet here you are."

I couldn't help the shiver that ran up my spine, was I supposed to have today off too? I couldn't even think straight his smell was so overwhelming and even mouthwatering. With his hand still covering my mouth I couldn't reply, but he pulled me further into the house leading me into the living room. He sat me down on the couch and himself in the opposing armchair. The light partially breaking through the blinds, making his eyes and face just barely visible. I couldn't help but be enamored by him he looked angelic and smelled even better. But I also knowing that if this was one of Pierce's work associates that this might not go over well for me.

Neither of us expecting to run into each other and both caught in a stupor we sat there staring at each other. Nobody making a move to do or say anything more. His smell becoming more powerful as if he was purposely scenting the room. Shit, could he smell my impending heat or was he trying to trigger it? That eerie feeling, I had all morning was right, I should have just called off and gone into my heat vacation a day early. The scratch slowly beginning under my skin again and my mouth actually beginning to water as his smell became more powerful. It smelled like he was close to his rut; if he, is I'm really fucked now. I couldn't help but rub my thighs together, and finally will myself to speak. The words coming up jumbled, but there none the less, "I.... do you think..... I should get going."

He's still staring at me, eyes boring into me, as if trying to read me, like I'm in the wrong in this situation. Yet, maybe Pierce did think I would want extra time off for my heat. I can't help but run my mind through a million different scenarios while debating with myself how to just get up and leave. Will he even let me leave, I mean fuck it at this point, as I start to squirm my way out of the seat he growls. Immediately making me still my entire body and my underwear wet, I hadn't been near an alpha this close to my heat in so long I don't think it could end well.

Which at this point I fully realize the mistake I've made Pierce had asked me to begin my vacation a day early, he had mentioned someone would be staying with him and wasn't sure how my smell would react to him. I had been so scatter brained this past week trying to get ready for my heat that it completely slipped my mind. I really needed to get the hell out of here. I slowly built my courage and cleared my throat trying to will myself to speak yet again. "I...... I'm... I'm sorry I just remembered Pierce had said somebody would be staying with him and to begin my vacation early." Continuing, stammering, "I should really get going, I didn't mean to."

And before I could even make a move to head towards the door, he had a hold on me again, yanking me to my knees in front of him. That's when I can finally see his eyes, pitch black, the tent forming in his pants and the smell of his rut drenching the room. I truly, truly fucked up and don’t think I can even talk my way out of this one, but I still stammer on anyways. "Please just let me go, Pierce doesn't have to know I came in today. We can just forget anything happened." Tears slowly forming in the corners of my eyes at this point and to my dismay I realize I'm scenting. My heat is coming and the panic of it sends me into a further spiral.

All this strife finally causing him to speak again, "you smell real good mega, no wonder why Pierce can't handle you cleaning while he's here."

I can't even begin to ponder what he means by that, I'm too distracted by how nice he smells at this point. The smell rolling in waves slowly dragging me closer and closer to my heat.

"You like my smell, don't you?" He continues.

As if attached to a string my head nods on its own, I can't help but want to bury my face into every crevice of his body and live in his smell.

"So, sweet for me, aren't you?"

Before I can let this go any further, I snap back to my senses and begin plotting a way out in my head. But he's a step ahead of me and is already pulling me into his lap and burying his face into my neck, biting, licking, scenting, and kissing anywhere he can get his mouth on. I can't help the moan that escapes my mouth, which causes him to release a rumble, pleased that I like this.

"It's okay mega, I can smell that you want this, me." He speaks in between the marks he's making on my neck, continuing. "Pierce said he was saving you as a treat for me anyways and it looks like this mix-up was perfect timing. Sweet girl, can't you smell we were meant to be." He begins to slowly grind his hardness up into me, only causing a flood of wetness to break through my leggings. "Oh, sweet mega that's it, just let me have you."

Little whines and whimpers still escaping me, I can't help but enjoy what he's doing after not having been with an alpha in so long. Still fighting within myself though and distracted he takes the opportunity and shifts us onto the couch caging me in. While continuing his endeavor on my neck. I finally find my voice again and try to beg "ple.... pleas... please stop."

"But mega I can smell how wet you are for me, you want it so bad, and can't you feel how badly I want it," which he punctuates by grinding his hardness into my core. Causing more mewls to spill out of my mouth. "Oh, sweet girl that's it, I promise I'll take such sweet care of you."

Before I can protest, he's stripping me of my clothes the cold air bringing my nipples to a peak and my smell further spilling into the air. I try to cover myself up the best I can, but he just "tsks" and gives me a look that tells me I should cut my fighting short if I want this to go over nicely. Or at least as nicely as he'll make it for me.

"That's it sweet girl let me see you," he states while working off my pants and underwear too. Him still fully clothed in a rough tactical suit. As much as I want to resist my heat brain is slowly taking over and I wouldn't mind taking a hard knot at this point. I can't help but grind myself against him. He begins to kiss down my chest, making sure to spend extra time sucking and biting on my nipples. Causing more moans to spill from my mouth and me to grind myself against him with more vigor, searching for some type of friction.

"You really like that don't you sweet girl?" Another shiver wracks down my spine and he chuckles darkly. "I knew there was a reason Pierce prevented this from happening anytime soon, because as soon as I knot you mega your mine, I'm putting my mark on that pretty little neck too."

Again, I want to protest, tell him I don't want any of that, but his fingers are already swiping through my folds. His thumb immediately rubbing my clit in small circles while another finger slides right into me. "That's it sweet girl, gonna work you open so you can take all of me." Which he punctuates by sliding another finger right along in with the first one. More mewls and moans spilling from my mouth and a heat slowly building over my body. He starts to rub my clit harder and pump his fingers faster, "yeah that's it mega, you gotta cum once before I can get my knot into you." His talking only building the fire in my gut further.

Willing myself to speak I let him know I'm close.

"Yeah, mega I know com'on give it to me, so I can give you my knot and mark."

That shouldn't send me over the edge, but it does, my moans echoing through the room. While my heat filled brain and orgasm wracked body is just ready for him to fill me up. I start to make grabby hands at him and try to grind myself back into him. Which just causes him to chuckle, "hold on I'm working on it," he follows with unzipping his pants and pulling out his hard member. My eyes must bug out because he's laughing again, he's huge and I can't help but stare. From his physique I knew he'd be bigger but what he pulls out is like nothing I've ever seen. Above average in length and extra girthy, already leaking precum at the tip.

He pumps himself a few times, then settles himself over me, lining his member up with my entrance. I buck right into him, my heat filled brain ready for his knot. Slowly pushing in he causes more whimpers to spill from mouth, nobody has ever filled me this nicely, not even the larger toys I've bought before. I immediately cling to his body, wrapping my arms and legs around him, burying my face in his neck.

"It's okay mega, I'll take such good care of you." Fully seated inside me, he gives me a second to adjust, before slowly pulling out and pushing back in again. Beginning a smooth rhythm that just leaves me wanting more.

"Please, more," I whimper into his neck.

"Yeah? My mega wants it harder?" He pulls my face out his neck so he can get a clear look at me.

"Please," I squeak staring right back at him. The lust in his eyes so enticing and pulling me in.

He begins to snap his hips harder, breaking the trance and causing the heat to start slowly building in me again. "That's it mega, gonna take my knot so nicely. I know your close, tell me what you need?" He hikes my hips higher, pushing my legs onto his shoulders. Preventing me from even answering as this new angle has him drilling into that exact spot that has me seeing stars. All my thoughts are out the window but the need to cum.

"Please, please," I whimper.

"Fuck, I know your right there mega, just give it to me." Still pounding into me he drops his hand down and starts to swipe his thumb over my clit. Causing me immediately to tighten down on him, spreading the heat into all my limbs. "That's it sweet girl, I'm right behind you." I can feel his knot enlarging, catching every time he tries to pull in or out. The thought of his knot fulling being in me sends me over the edge. Which triggers his own orgasm, shoving his knot deep into me I'm wracked with shivers. Giving him the opportunity to bite into my neck just as he finishes pumping his cum into me. Sending me into another orgasm, like nothing I've ever felt before.

He rumbles, "mine."

#jamesbuchananbarnesslut #jamesbuchananbarnesslutwrites #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o fanfic #fanfiction #bucky barnes #the winter soldier x you #the winter soldier #the winter solider x reader #the winter solider #alpha winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #the winter solider x you #the winter solider imagine

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keysmashingfantasies · 4 years ago

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An Old Fashioned Meet Cute

A/N: hi! this is my first fic here and i hope you like it. comments and constructive criticism is very much appreciated just please be nice and i tried not to describe nor reader nor the Hilda character too much apart from the fact that they are plus size so it can cater to more people (altough the Hilda character is a white woman originally, I left that out because I wanted everyone to be able to read it) :D. and a huge thank you to @divine-mistake for encouraging me to make this blog and post my fics. ily Tay <3, this one's for you.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!plus size Reader

Word count: 2.1k

Summary: Bucky didn’t remember much of his life before the war. Not as much as he would like, anyway. But he was content to at least have remembered something. The memories of his teenage shenanigans with Steve always made him laugh. But there was a memory that he didn’t even know it was on his mind until that day when he accompanied Steve to the thrift shop. And until an Avengers party, where he met you.

“Steve, come on… Shouldn’t you be showing me the wonders of the modern world?”, he mocked. He knew Steve was doing his best, he did. But he knew that this wasn’t just a friends’ afternoon. And Bucky didn’t need a babysitter.

“I will! I just thought it would be nice to see something less overwhelming first and Sam told me a thrift store would be a nice place to start. Most of this stuff is new to us anyway”, Steve said, picking up a CD of a shelf.

“Yeah, ok”, he mumbled. The things he did for Steve. He mindlessly wandered through the little cluttered store, browsing the shelves full of knick knacks. He saw vinyls, old books, a great variety of toys, some paintings and an old fashioned vanity, with an old mirror, a few vintage perfume bottles, and… Oh.

“Steve?”, he said, picking up the old calendar that was propped up against the stained mirror. Carefully, he lifted the calendar up, looking at his friend. He had seen it before, he knew he did. He flipped through it as he waited for Steve to make his way across the store, careful to not bump in any of the tables containing delicate porcelain tea pots. His eyes scanned through the cover, a delicately painted picture of a curvy woman and with the saying “HILDA, 1940’s calendar” in bold red letters above it.

“Oh wow”, Steve let out a belly laugh. “You remember when we stole some of these? Man, we even took these to war”, he said. He started to remember. Him and Steve running, each one with a calendar in hand, flipping through the pages, Steve whining that he would never find a girl like that. He didn’t even think twice before taking it to the counter, with Steve giggling like a school girl behind him.

“For the memories, punk”, he said in a stern voice and a frown, but with pink dusted cheeks.

“Of course”, Steve said in a mocking voice.

“So, Tony’s throwing a party next weekend”, Steve said as he entered the training room.

“I prefer the thrift store”, Bucky mumbled, without tearing his eyes from the punching bag.

“Come on, Buck. I think it will be good for you to go”, Steve said. “It will be something small, Tony will introduce the new team assistant, so no eyes will be on you”, that got Bucky’s attention.

“Small?”, he said, pushing his hair from his face.

“Very”, Steve assured, but he had that look that Bucky knew very well from his young years; the look he would get when he was about to pick a fight. He was up to no good. But he didn’t want another trip to a dusty thrift store.

“Yeah, sure”, he mumbled.

You were shaking in your boots. Yeah, you knew that you would work for them, which meant that you inevitably would have to attend this kind of things. But this wasn’t like your former office jobs, no. You work for the Avengers now.

“You can do this. You have to. Do it for the paycheck”, you said, trying to reassure yourself as you shakily applied mascara. As you browsed through your wardrobe, you let out a sigh. You remembered shyly asking for advice on what to wear from Natasha, but you took it with a grain of salt. She could wear a potato sack and still look gorgeous, and you were… Well, a potato. You knew this was another test. If you couldn’t handle all eyes on you and the eventual bickering that was about to happen, you were not fit for the job. But damn, you at least expected a few weeks of taking care of documents and serving coffee before a party. In a room. With the, quoting the tabloid you read that very morning “super team that saves the world and looks hot doing it!”. You were a pretty confident person. But this… Anyone would be nervous.

“You can do this”, you told yourself one more time before heading out.

When you got to the party, not everyone was there. You politely greeted everyone with a nod, and gave your name to the ones you didn’t have the pleasure to meet yet.

“You, pick your poison”, Tony Stark pointed at you while walking to the bar.

“No, thank you, Mr. Stark, I won’t be drinking tonight”, you managed to say, silently thanking all the gods above (even the one that was sitting not too far from you) that you managed to hold back the quiver in your voice.

“She doesn’t want to be vulnerable around us. Smart, I like her”, said Natasha. Sometimes you wonder if she was a telepath like Wanda.

“Is there anything wrong, Y/N? I sense that you are uneasy”, asked Vision, with those glassy unblinking eyes. You wondered if he was in your mind that very moment.

“Gee, I wonder why”, said Rhodes, before taking a sip of his drink.

“I’m okay, just… A bit nervous, that’s all”, you said.

“Well, then you definitely need a drink”, said Tony, handing you a glass of champagne that no doubt cost the same as your previous paycheck.

Soon enough, the awkwardness made way to pleasant conversation. You laughed as you listened to their banter. It wasn’t like any business party you ever attended. No, it was more like a family gathering than anything.

The sounds of the elevator doors opening caught you attention as three men wide as refrigerators walked in, followed closely by a pretty young woman. Of course you knew them. You read all about them. Especially The Winter Soldier, the little devil on your shoulder taunting you by remembering you of every single time you talked to your friend about your crush on him.

“Sorry we’re late guys, Steve went to pick me up before the party and we had dinner”, said the blonde, linking her arm with Steve Rogers himself.

“Nah, Sharon, don’t cover his ass. We were late because the three of us had to wrestle Barnes into changing out of that old ass Henley”, said Sam.

Instantly, Tony and Natasha cheered and raised their glasses, making you laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, very funny”, said a gruff voice coming from the bar, making you turn your head, seeing Bucky Barnes open a beer bottle with his vibranium hand. 'How did he sneak past everyone?', your thoughts were interrupted as you took him in. You wanted to personally thank Sam, Steve and Sharon for making him wear that tight fitting black shirt.

“Well, Y/N, here’s Capsicle, Mrs. Capsicle, New Captain, and Snowflake. Guys, this is Y/N, the new assistant. Oh, and there’s Spider Boy but he’s on curfew, Strange had to hop out of the dimension and Scott but he’s… He’s somewhere out there being small, I don’t know. Watch were you step, just to be safe”, said Tony

“Hi”, you gave a shy wave, being greeted right back.

If it wasn’t for the serum, Bucky is absolutely sure he would have a heart attack on the spot. You were wearing red heels, a form fitting black pencil skirt and a white button up blouse and he could see your curves, your strong arms, your thighs. You looked absolutely amazing. You look like one of the girls that Bucky would’ve rushed to ask for a dance back in the day. But what really made him stare is the fact that your body type looked eerily similar to the character of the calendar he spent an embarrassing amount of time staring.

As your eyes scanned the room as you were bombarded with questions, Bucky made sure to avoid your gaze, looking everywhere but your face: his shoes, the ceiling, the armrest on the couch, Steve’s shit eating grin. Oh. So THAT’S what it was about. Little shit.

Even avoiding your gaze, he made sure to keep his ears open. A man could be interested, right?

By the time the party ended, Thor and Bruce were sleeping, Tony was buzzed walking around singing Iron Maiden, Natasha and Sharon were talking, Steve and Sam were giggling like two school girls, Rhodes went home and Vision and Wanda were talking and looking out the window to the New York skyline.

Which left you – and Bucky – alone.

“Uhhh. I guess I’ll start cleaning, then”, you said. Your face was on fire. The only person that you were sure didn’t like you and you were awkwardly standing, not knowing where to look and what to say. It didn’t help that you were attracted to him but damn it, you were not going to lose this opportunity because of a school girl crush. So you decided to keep yourself occupied by taking some empty glasses and bottles from the table and taking them to the kitchen.

“Oh, come on, Y/N! Let the cleaning crew deal with this in the morning!”, said Natasha.

“No, no, I don’t mind. I like to keep myself busy”, you said with a smile. Technically, it wasn’t a lie. You only hoped she couldn’t see how awkward you were.

“I’ll help”, he said, picking up some glasses and following you.

“You can pick up more of these glasses and I can start washing them”, he said. “I- I noticed you got your nails done, so…”, he said, and you shyly looked away while thanking him and making your way out of the kitchen.

In no time, the room was getting emptier. Vision and Wanda went home and Thor took Banner back to New Asgard. And you were almost done with the dishes, having also gotten rid of most of the empty food containers. As you both cleaned, you and Bucky got a bit more comfortable with each other.

“I’m sorry for seeming a bit standoffish earlier”, he said suddenly. “I’m not used to parties and I don’t know how new people will react to me. Especially pretty women”, you smiled at the compliment, but felt your heart ache. You were so caught up in your insecurities that you didn’t even consider his side of things.

“You don’t have to be sorry. I don’t know how you feel but by what I’ve seen and heard, you have a family here. You’re out there fighting to save the world. Trying your best. This is redemption enough, don’t you think?”, you said as you put the glasses to dry, missing the awestruck look that Bucky sent you, a goofy smile making its way into his features. “Okay, you wait here and I’ll get what’s left”.

You were back in no time. “Okay, so just more two champagne flutes and one plate left”, you said but before you could give the dishes to Bucky, you slipped, and if it wasn’t for Bucky’s reflexes, you would’ve fallen hard. You yelped as the sound of breaking glass hit your ears and for a second you two just stared at each other, before Bucky pulled you closer and back to a standing position.

“Thanks”, you said as he helped you straighten up.

“Your ankle, does it hurt?”, he said.

“Uh, no, I don’t think so”, you said.

“Ah, I think it does. And I can’t let a dame go home alone on a hurt ankle”, he said, giving you a dashing smile.

“You know what, now that you’ve said it, it hurts really bad”, you said, catching on. “You know what’s amazing for a bad ankle?”, you asked, and the gentle smile in your lips and the mischievous glint in your eyes made his heart piston inside of his chest.

"What?", he said softly, stepping closer, like you were sharing secrets.

“Ice cream and a walk on the park. Very therapeutical”, you said, making Bucky laugh.

Before you knew it, Bucky had already scooped you up into his arms and rushedly announced that you had slipped and fell, whisking you away into the elevator.

“Dude, that took all night”, said Sam. “This is the smooth guy you told me about?”, he said, while Steve and Sharon laughed.

While everyone got ready to go home, Scott came out of the kitchen in his Ant-Man suit eating some leftovers.

“Someone owes me 20 bucks for making her trip”.

#bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x plus size reader #bucky barnes x chubby reader

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mobagehelllocal · 4 years ago

Text

“the tale as old as time”

The dorm leaders’ reaction to Beauty and the Beast.

-- from @shayclov391

A/N: It was mentioned on this blog a few... weeks ago? How Ai (i, heh geddit) lived under a rock because I haven’t seen Hamilton, Coco and Nightmare Before Christmas. So @shayclov391 (who had originally requested for Hamilton and Coco) asked me for Beauty and the Beast instead. Luckily, I HAVE WATCHED BEAUTY AND THE BEAST! It’s my sister’s favourite Disney Princess movie so... I watched it. A lot.

So how I did this... I sort of picked the parts of the movie where a certain character would react the ‘most’--if that makes sense. So this isn’t arranged how I normally arrange it. ALSO! This interchanges between the animated and live action version. Why? You’ll see!

Please enjoy!

You were lucky that you somehow managed to have your phone from your world with you. You couldn’t communicate with the people from your world, nor did you have your world’s internet connection--but at least you had all the stuff already downloaded on your phone... Including a bunch of movies from your world. After hearing you out, Crowley took you to Idia who managed to transfer most of the data on your phone into a new one made in Twisted Wonderland.

Thanks to that, you often watched and, or rewatched some movies from your home world.

You also decided that watching a couple of movies from your world, with your boy wouldn’t hurt... right?

You had easily convinced Leona to relax with you and watch a movie from your home. He was never the type to say no to lazing around after all--and when you had proposed this for a date, he agreed pretty easily.

You had hooked your phone up to the television in Leona’s bedroom. When you turned around to look at your boyfriend, Leona had pushed all the pillows up against the headboard and leant against it. He blinked slowly at you, and raised his arms. You giggled lightly, before you slipped onto the bed, and rested your head against his chest. He wrapped one arm around your waist as the opening dialogue of the movie began.

You peered up at Leona as the narrator told the story of the selfish prince. He glanced down at you as it talked about how the prince turned into a beast.

“Were you trying to say something by choosing this movie?” he said dryly.

“Actually, no. I just really like this movie. Grew up with it.” you said, chin on his chest.

“Huh.” he rubbed aimless circles on your back with his thumb as his gaze shifted back to the screen. You pressed your cheek against his chest, and turned your gaze to the movie too.

As the opening transitioned to the song ‘Belle,’ you felt Leona’s tail twitch around your hips.

“Bonjour~”

“This is... the language that Hunt uses.” You could feel Leona growl, and you--amused--moved your hand to pat his toned stomach (you mentally cursed him too--I mean, how could he have such a nice body, but laze around most of the time?).

“There, there.” you soothed, amused. Leona grunted in response.

“So they think she’s weird because she reads?” He asked, and you nodded your head. “Well that’s stupid.” he grumbled under his breath and you giggled lightly.

However, when a certain hunter was introduced, you quickly turned your head to gauge Leona’s expression.

“She’s the one! The lucky girl I’m going to marry.”

His expression turned from curious to serious. His brows furrowed slightly as he seemed to give a little more attention to the movie.

“She’s the most beautiful girl in town. That makes her the best--and don’t I deserve the best?”

Leona scowled.

“I don’t like him.”

“Uhuh.” you said, your lips quirked up in an amused smile. Leona’s ears twitched backwards, and his tail was thumping in the way it normally did when he was irritated.

When Belle made a disgusted expression at Gaston appearing at her door, Leona looked pleased--you could tell by the way his brows smoothened--and his ears perked up. His eyes narrowed again however--with the way Gaston kept moving to cage Belle.

“I’m very sorry Gaston... but... but... I just don’t deserve you.”

“She’s smart.” Leona smirked as Gaston was thrown out of the house and into mud.

“That’s why she’s my favourite.” you mumbled.

“Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless...

Madame Gaston, can't you just see it?

Madame Gaston, his little wife, ugh!”

Leona snickered at the song, and you laughed too. You always enjoyed ‘Belle Reprise’--especially with the way Belle exaggerated her eye roll and sarcasm.

You turned back to Leona.

“How is it so far?”

“I like Belle.” Leona nodded, “she’s not the same type of strong that Afterglow Savanna has--but her wit is one type of strength.” but then he added--

“Gaston... I’ll kill if he isn’t dead by the end of the movie.”

“Leona!” you laughed.

You and Azul decided to snuggle up and watch a movie. Azul offered to put on one of the movies from Twisted Wonderland, but you told him Idia finally finished with your phone.

“We could watch something from my world.” There was a spark of interest on Azul’s expression, and he easily agreed.

Azul had seemed to be enjoying the movie so far. Originally, he was interested because it was a movie from your world--however he began to enjoy it in gusto when the musical number at the beginning happened.

“Are there more songs?” He asked you, his tone eager.

“Yup.”

Azul looked back at the screen, with a glitter of fascination in his eyes. He expressed a little of his disgust at Gaston’s actions, but went silent again as the movie went on.

“Gosh it disturbs me to see you Gaston...

looking so down in the dumps!”

You turned to look at Azul, who had a difficult expression on his face as Le Fou started to sing. He whipped his head to look at you.

“That irritating human... has a song about him?”

“That’s not the worse part.”

“Holy carp is he going to sing?”

“As a specimen, yes I’m intimidating!~”

Azul immediately recoiled into the couch as Gaston began to start singing.

“He’s singing.” Azul exhaled, and looked at you with the cutest confused expression--ever. “Why am I watching this abomination, sing?”

“Well... his vocals are pretty good...” You said, with an amused smile.

“No way. His voice isn’t that good. It’s disgusting.” Azul looked insulted, “I can’t believe I think there’s someone whose singing is more irritating than Rielle’s.”

“Who?” you asked, amused. The name seemed familiar but you couldn’t put a finger to it. Azul waved his hands dismissively as he focused on the film again.

“I’m exceptionally good at expectorating!~”

“He is sickening.” Azul had a disgusted look on his face. “No wonder the girl refuses to marry him.”

When the song finally finished, Azul paused the movie, and you looked at him with an arched bow.

“Tell me he dies. Please.”

“... I refuse to say anything.” you snorted into your palm--way more amused. It was absolutely refreshing to see someone’s first time watching Beauty and the Beast. Who would’ve thought you’d experience it?

“He’s a bully.” Azul’s lips curled downward. “I also feel pretty bad for Le Fou.”

“You do? You like him?”

“Well, not really. But I also don’t hate him. I think he should meet better people.” Azul sniffed haughtily, and you giggled. You figured Azul might actually enjoy the live action because it tried to give depth to Le Fou. (Tried being the keyword. Whether or not it was successful, normally depended on the person watching it.)

“Tell me at least if he’s going to sing again.”

“He won’t. I think the next song is actually pretty fun.”

“Oh thank the Sea Witch.” Azul exhaled, as he slumped back to your side, before he suddenly had a thoughtful expression and turned to you.

“Is it just me, or does Professor Vargas resemble him?”

You immediately choked on your spit and starting coughing. You could your eyes well up as you begin to laugh.

“Hey! Are you okay?” Azul yelped.

‘Don’t... tell him... I shouldn’t... say anything.’ you squealed to yourself as you hunched over.

It had been pretty easy to ask Kalim to spend the evening just watching a movie from your world.

And as expected of Kalim, he quickly got super invested in the story of Belle. He would frown when Gaston would appear on screen, but he especially seemed to enjoy Maurice’s personality. He looked uneasy at the sight of the Beast but other than that... He would happily dance in his seat during the musical numbers--he was so precious when he did that, that you found yourself watching him instead of the movie.

In fairness, it was very fun to watch the first time reaction of someone who hadn’t seem Beauty and the Beast.

"The Dining Room proudly presents... your dinner!”

You remembered how amazing it was to see ‘Be Our Guest’ when you were a little kid. The concept of moving dining ware had been so fascinating and hilarious at the same time, that you were slack jawed for most of it--and laughing the other half.

When you tuned to look at Kalim, you can’t help but remember the first time you watched Beauty and the Beast too.

Kalim was slack jawed, his eyes were wide and sparkling happily as watched the animated dining ware began to dance around.

“Try the gray stuff it’s delicious~

Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes!”

Kalim laughed boisterously at that.

“The dinner here is never second best!”

“Since Jamil isn’t here, I have to defend his honor. I’m pretty sure Jamil cooks better!” Kalim told you, with a wide grin. You laughed at that, you’re sure Jamil would definitely love hearing that.

When Lumiere would begin messing around with Cogsworth, Kalim turned to you with a shine in his eyes.

“I think Lumiere is my favourite character.”

“I can see why.” you said, with a grin, as your boyfriend turned back to the television and kept watching the musical.

“If you’re stressed,

it’s fine dining we suggest!”

“Lumiere is definitely right! A sure way to cheer up someone is to have a banquet!” Kalim cheered, his smile wide. As he turned back to the television, he began a running commentary on what he thought--about each of the named dining ware.

“Wait... they used salt for snow? Hahah! That’s so unique!”

“You know... Cogsworth is actually pretty funny!”

“Mrs. Potts is cute! You look gorgeous Mrs. Potts!”

“So is Chip! I would be friends with Chip. I would protect Chip with my life.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face as you see the way that Kalim was just enjoying himself.

You were glad you suggested this movie first.

“I wonder if Jamil could get dishes to move around like that during the next banquet.” Kalim wondered out loud with glowing eyes.

You immediately winced, and apologized mentally to the Vice Dorm Leader.

You had told him to take a break, and that he could leave Kalim to you... but you could just imagine Jamil’s reaction when Kalim would ask him to make the dining ware dance around with him.

‘Okay... so maybe I shouldn’t have done Beauty and the Beast?’ you thought.

‘Whoops...?’

"So this movie has two versions. One is animated, and the other is live action. Since you wanted a film with some fashion--I thought looking at the live action one would be better.” You explained when you had plugged your phone into the television in Vil’s room. “It’s a fantasy story, so the clothes reflect some historical fashion--but they’re not exactly accurate.”

“Naturally.” Vil nodded, his legs crossed, and a glass of freshly squeezed juice in hand. “Let’s see it.”

Majority of the film was Vil just watching, and criticizing some of the fashion choices used.

“The Prince is hideous. Why is he wearing that type of make up?”

“Is that painting how he normally looks? He actually looks fine. He ruined it with the use of make up.”

“Oh, the girl is quite pretty. Is this the same actress from the other movie we watched together?”

“So they made her be the only one dressed in that shade of blue? That’s nice little attention to detail.”

“Red is such a basic color for the bad guy but... go off I guess.”

“Gaston is hideous.”

“Those three girls are hideous too. Why are they dressed like that--nothing is flattered properly.”

“Oh those roses are beautiful. I’ll give them that.”

“The Beast is hideous.”

“Gaston is hideous.”

You sweat dropped as Vil kept making these type of side comments about the film, while gently swirling his cup of juice like it was a glass of wine.

As the plot thickened, Vil did get slowly caught up in the story.

“You’re making everything look so beautiful, we should have a dance tonight.”

You could see the interest in Vil’s eyes grow as the plot moves into one of your favourite scenes--the dance. When the animated objects began to put make up on him, Vil’s eyes twitched.

“Why are they doing that? He clearly has fur? Make up won’t help him.”

“Oh my god, Vil.”

“I’m only telling the truth.” Vil huffed, before he concentrated again.

When the gold floated from the ceiling, and moved to decorate Belle’s dress, Vil made an appreciative noise.

“The detailing is quite nice.... the tiers of the skirt are very pretty too.”

“I think I saw an interview, and they talked about how they wanted the dress to dance beautifully.”

“Well, I’ll be the judge of that.” Vil’s lips curled up.

When the ballroom comes into view, Vil hummed.

“Now that is a ballroom.” He looked at you thoughtfully. “Do you have balls back at home?”

“Nope. I’d love to go to one though.” Vil tilted his head, eyeing you up and down. “I think I can bring you to one.”

“Really?” the excitement on your face made your lover laugh.

“Of course sweet potato. Everyone should experience a grand ball once.”

“Tale as old as time...

true as it can be...”

Once Belle was twisted--her skirt flowed, turned, and seemed to bloom again around her with every single step. Vil’s breath hitched, and you turned to him--to see his eyes were wide.

“Now that is beautiful.” he exhaled. “the way the skirt moves around her... Alright I want one.” You giggled in surprise and he looked at you seriously.

“Sweet potato, I’m going to make you a dress that will beat anything you dreamed off.” you blushed furiously in response.

“I’ll... look forward to it.”

"Let’s watch this movie together!” you had told him with a bright smile.

Never able to resist you, Malleus immediately agreed.

“I thought this was one of your favourite movies?” Malleus chuckled as you softly snored away on his shoulder.

“Mal... I love this movie...” you slurred out in your sleep, and he smiled softly.

“I’m sure you do.” he told your adorable sleeping face. Carefully, he moved your head to a pillow on the bed, and he stood to turn the television off.

“It was an interesting film.” Malleus mused, but just as he reached forward to unplug your phone--

“I let her go.”

His head snapped up and he saw that the Beast had decided to let Belle go back home to her father.

As Belle got on a horse to rush back to the village the Beast began to sing as he gazed at the cursed rose.

“I was the one who had it all...

I was the master of my fate...

I never needed anybody in my life...”

Malleus tilted his head, to him these lyrics...

He could understand the Beast very well.

“I close my eyes but she's still there...

I let her steal into my melancholy heart...”

His eyes flickered briefly to your sleeping form.

‘Another thing we share.’ Malleus acknowledged, ‘We both have someone who stole our hearts out of nowhere...’

“Now I know she'll never leave me...

Even as she runs away...

She will still torment me...

Calm me, hurt me...

Move me, come what may...”

He righted himself and moved to your side. He tucked your hair behind your ear--and you nuzzled unconsciously into Malleus’s familiar touch. His smile grew melancholic in response to that.

“Now I know she'll never leave me...

Even as she fades from view...

She will still inspire me...

Be a part of everything I do...”

“One day... you will leave me.” Malleus murmured softly. “As all mortals do...”

“In the first place... I should’ve steeled my heart against you... but I am powerless to your light...”

“Wasting in my lonely tower...

Waiting by an open door...

I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in...”

"Yet... when you leave me... I’ll spend the rest of eternity waiting for you again.”

“And as the long, long nights begin...

I'll think of all that might have been...”

‘Mortal... so painfully mortal.’

he mused.

‘Do you know what you dangle in front of me? The true impossibility of what we share together...’

“Waiting here for evermore...”

He doesn’t move for a long time, as he quietly watched you sleep, peaceful--unknowing of Malleus’s conflicting thoughts.

Idia originally hadn’t been very interested in the film you were trying to show him. He kept getting distracted in the beginning, before he got hooked because the castle looked pretty cool to him.

By the time Belle had gone back to the village to save her father, Idia had clutched a pillow tight to his chest as he watched in anticipation--about what was going to happen next.

“Show them the mirror! The mirror!”

“Show me the Beast!”

“Yes!” Idia fist pumped into the air, “she’s giving them proof--”

“The Beast has her under a spell!”

“Wait, no!” Idia gasped, his hold on his pillow tightened. “Noooo! Lord damn it! Gaston shut up!”

On your end you clutched a pillow to hide the lower half of your face--because you were desperately trying not to laugh. At some point you had straight up stopped watching the movie--and instead decided to watch Idia’s reactions instead.

You never thought you’d meet anyone who had never watched Beauty and the Beast, and now you were seeing Idia’s very honest reactions to it.

You almost want to make him watch the original Star Wars trilogy too...

“He’s not a monster Gaston! You are!”

“Yes! Tell him! TELL HIM!”

You inhaled sharply as you tried not to laugh. Idia was really into this. He leant forward as the ‘Mob Song’ started.

“Kill the Beast!

Kill the Beast!”

“Oh my Lord, yes!” Idia exhaled in relief as he saw the castle occupants push to keep the castle doors closed.

“I know what to do.”

“OML... What is Lumiere gonna do...” Idia chattered to himself. When he saw that they had decided to pretend to be inanimate Idia cheered.

“[Name]! This is so cool! They’re so cool! That’s so amazing--!” when Idia whirled to you, he paused because you had clutched your pillow to hide half of your face.

“Why... what are you doing?”

“I am definitely engrossed in the film.” you lie through your teeth, as you struggled to hold back a laugh. Idia eyed you suspiciously, until his attention was caught by Mrs. Potts shouting.

“Grandmother? Attack!”

“You get them Mrs. Potts!”

When Madame Garderobe proceeded to attack that one villager.

“Oh hell yes! Gg! You dead!” Idia cheered happily.

Without Idia knowing, you were just... smiling while staring at how enthusiastic he was being while watching the movie. You began to think of other movies that you think Idia would enjoy.

‘Note to self, see if I can get Idia to watch some more of the movies from back at home... maybe he’ll like Wreck it Ralph? Big Hero 6?’

‘Either way...’ your eyes flickered to your boyfriend as he gave the appropriate reactions at the right time for Beauty and the Beast. ‘I like seeing him relaxed enough to be emotive around me~’

“Fight back.” Riddle clenched his teeth and his hands as he stared at the depressed Beast. “You have to fight back.”

‘He’s surprisingly into this.’ you mused.

“Did you honestly think she’d want someone like you, when she had someone like me?”

“Die Gaston.” Riddle hissed underneath his breath.

“It’s over Beast! Belle is mine!”

“No she isn’t!” Riddle gritted his teeth, his knuckles white. When he sees that Beast finally fought back, and was winning--his shoulders slackened briefly. “No... don’t turn back on the enemy... Please...”

“Belle... you came back.”

“Is it over? Is it really over...?” Riddle frantically muttered underneath his breath, and you couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face at how adorable he was.

That is until Gaston stabbed Beast in the back. Riddle’s face turned crimson in an instant.

“Coward!” he yelled at the television screen. When Gaston fell backwards to his death, Riddle angrily muttered underneath his breath how his death was too nice.

As the scene focused on the injured Beast however, Riddle’s mutter fell away as he concentrated on the scene.

“Of course I came back... I couldn’t let them... Oh... this is all my fault... if only I’d gotten here sooner.”

You peered at Riddle as he stared, concentrated on the film, his eyes wide--wet and you were sure he was ready to start crying.

“Maybe... Maybe it’s better... it’s better this way...”

“Don’t talk like that. You’ll be alright. Everything’s going to be alright... You’ll see.”

“At least... I got to see you one last time.”

Beast let out one last breathe--

Riddle started to sniffle.

“I’m not crying.” he choked out. “I’m not crying.”

“You’re not crying.” you pretended to agree, but your lover was shaking as he saw the last petal of the rose fall to the table.

“Please don’t leave me...”

“I love you.” Belle whispered, softly, sadly--

Riddle was for sure crying now.

To think he had originally scoffed, and said he wasn’t interested in a children’s movie...

You had convinced him after telling him how it was considered a classic and was your favourite film--regardless of age.

When lights started shooting from the sky and surrounding Beast, Riddle looked up in awe with red eyes.

“Wait, did she make it? Did they make it?” he croaked out, he looked at you--and you gestured for him to watch.

The Beast--Prince Adam--now transformed back, turned around to show his human face.

“Belle, it’s me.”

Riddle watched with a bated breath as Belle drew closer and looked the man in his eyes. When a glitter of recognition passes through Belle’s eyes, Riddle exhaled in relief.

“It is you!”

“Ah, they did it.” Riddle smiled, relieved as the the other characters changed back into humans and the castle returned to its former glory. When he turned his head towards you, you shot him a grin.

“...”

“Okay... it’s not bad.”

“Not bad?” you teased lightly, and his cheeks flushed red again--except this time with embarrassment.

“Okay fine--it was really good.”

“Yay!” you hopped up onto your feet and shot him a grin. “I have a bunch more, wanna watch?”

“...Sure.” Riddle said grudgingly, but when you beamed up at him--what he originally thought was a childish waste of time...

became a precious moment you could share together.

#aiwrites #aiscenarios #twisted wonderland #twst #twst scenarios #twst riddle #twst leona #twst azul #twst kalim #twst vil #twst idia #twst malleus

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silverarmedassassin · 4 years ago

Text

Clandestine Meetings - Prologue

Bucky x reader | Word Count: 1012 | Warnings: Charming Bucky?

Divider by @firefly-graphics ❤️

[ Series Masterlist | Next ]

One year, six months, and fourteen days.

That’s exactly how long you’ve been graduated from college; exactly how long you’ve tried and consistently failed at launching your writing career.

It’s not that you’re bad at writing. According to every editor, blog-runner, and marketing director you’ve submitted work to, it was simply timing, not you. And as much as you try to not let it affect you, you’re one rejection letter away from throwing in the towel and accepting you’re going to work as an underpaid barista for the rest of your life.

That was, however, until you received a call from Stark Publishing, the leading publishing company in North America. It wasn’t a glamorous position, just something akin to an assistantship gig that you're sure you’ll still be underpaid for. At least you were getting your foot in the door, though, right?

Right. Or, that’s at least what you tell yourself as you settle into the high-tech elevator in the flashiest office building in New York City. You press the button for the 45th floor, stomach doing a few somersaults as you think of being up that high, and dare the doors to shut before anyone else can get in. You couldn’t get that lucky, of course, and right before the doors closed, a tan, perfectly kempt hand shoves its way in.

“Thank god,” the owner, a deliciously tall, wonderfully lean man pants as the doors part for him. “Already late for this meeting.” He vigorously pushes the button for the 43rd-floor repeatedly as if it will make the elevator move quicker.

You internally curse the universe. Not only were you losing your mind over this interview with Mr. Stark, the owner of the magazine, and his editor-in-chief Ms. Potts, but now you were also stuck in a small space with the most gorgeous man you’ve ever laid eyes on. As if you weren’t sweating enough.

Your hands grow even clamier as you grip your faux leather portfolio just a little tighter. You cast your gaze down at a kitten-heeled foot, which is now anxiously tapping on the metallic floor.

“Nervous ‘bout somethin’?” the handsome stranger asks, voice deep like espresso and as smooth as whiskey.

You chance a peek at the man and find two light blue orbs looking down at you, dancing with amusement. A little stubble shadows the sharp angles of his jawline, and his pink, pillowy lips turn up into a shy grin. The smile looks familiar, like something you’ve seen in a dream long ago, but you can’t place a finger on it. You know for a fact you’ve never met this man before - you’d remember someone like him. Plus, you doubt he runs in the same circle as you, considering the sunglasses perched on top of his perfectly quiffed Chesnut locks look like they cost double your rent. It made sense, especially if he worked for Stark. Maybe you’ll be in that position one day, you hope.

The man shifts a little, making you realize you’ve been staring a little too long without actually saying anything. You quickly avert your eyes as your cheeks warm with embarrassment. “Uh, I’ve got an interview,” you say shakily. “With the big man himself.”

The stranger offers a chuckle that gently reverberates in his chest. “Nah, you don’t have anything to worry about. Stark’s all talk. Absolutely no bite.” You look back up at him and find that his grin has doubled in size. “You just gotta walk in there with your head held high and show him who’s in charge of this interview.”

“That’s easier said than done,” you mumble. You’ve been shy and a little unsure of yourself before you started interviewing, but after the endless stream of “we regret to inform you” emails and calls, your confidence is at an all-time low.

The man shrugs and crosses his bulky arms over his broad chest. He doesn’t know who you are. He may have a preconceived notion from reading your resume or stalking your social media, but he doesn’t know you. My ma always told me to fake it ‘till I made it and, well, it’s worked so far.” He flashes that smile at you again, a genuine smile with teeth gleaming even in the dim elevator lighting and crinkles creasing the corners of his eyes.

How is he so perfect?

“Even if you’ve got the confidence of a three-legged horse racin’ in the Kentucky Derby, you need to pretend that you don’t. You’re young, beautiful, and obviously smart if Stark is even considering you for a position. You just gotta believe it until you become it.”

The laughter that bubbles up from your tummy surprises you. “Do you do this often? Give pep talks to strangers in elevators?”

This makes his eyes crease again with joy, and you can’t help but preen a little at the fact you were, for the moment, the source of this man’s happiness. “Only when they’re real pretty.”

You feel your cheeks heat up again as the elevator dings, and an automated Irish-lilted voice chimes through the small space, informing you that you’ve reached the 43rd floor. You can’t help but feel a rush of disappointment now that your ride with this man is over. You wish you could channel some of that mock confidence he was just talking about and ask him for his name. But as luck would have it, you can’t make yourself speak.

“Well, this is where I say goodbye,” the man says as he fixes the sleeve of his jacket - not quite a suit but much nicer than your average sweater. “Good luck on your interview!” he cheerfully says as he steps out. “Remember, you’re great, and you go this.”

You can hear the echoes of his voice greeting staff members as he turns to make his way down the hall. You longingly watch as the doors close slowly. You suddenly found a motivation other than paying bills and eating for wanting this job. And it just so happens to be heading for a meeting.

#Bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #actor!bucky #actor AU #marvel au #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #clandestine meetings

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angryschnauzer · 4 years ago

Text

Stuck - Part 2 (Steve Rogers edition)

Summary: Following the development in your relationship from maid x client, you visit Captain Rogers on his invitation, with no false pretences of what is expected

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female Maid Reader (no race or size described)

Warnings; NSFW, 18+, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, sex toys, dildo’s, butt plugs, masturbation, voyeurism, anal fingering, anal sex, creampie, Sugar Daddy relationship, Daddy petname used.

Stuck - Chapter 2 - Steve Rogers Version

Ringing the doorbell you heard footsteps this time, and were able to prepare yourself for Captain Rogers opening the door - or so you thought. When the door swung open you could not have prepared yourself for the sight of him in smart black pants and a crisp grey button down shirt, the top couple of buttons opened to reveal a teasing glimpse of chest hair, his tie hanging loose and unfastened around his neck. He looked you up and down, taking in how your breasts were pushed a little higher, your ass a little rounder from the way the heels made you stand, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as he stepped to one side;

“Please, do come in”

When the parcel had arrived on your doorstep a week ago with a note from Capt Rogers you’d quickly glanced around the hallway, no courier or delivery guy having been seen, almost nervous to find what was inside. When you had opened the parcel it had felt like christmas morning, so many little treats all individually wrapped, a note from the high end lingerie store saying that they hoped you enjoyed the parcel. That night you’d tried on the exquisite underwear set, marvelling how the bra gave you the most amazing cleavage, the half cups ending just at the right place for your nipples to peek over the top of the lace. The panties had looked innocent enough from the front, but at the back it was a series of elastic straps that caged in your ass, the crotch non-existent and it gave you no false pretenses about what they were intended for. Having unpacked all the other treats - lipstick, perfume, bath bombs and scented skin oil, your favourite chocolates - you came upon one final gift and an envelope. Opening the parcel first you let out a small squeak when you saw the heart shaped jewel shine in the light from your lamp, the heavy metal of the plug smooth and cool in the palm of your hand. Grabbing the envelope you opened it, your hands shaking;

“Enjoy your gifts. I’ll make a booking soon. Steve x”

Back in Capt Rogers’ apartment you were distracted as he stood behind you, the only tell that he was there was the sudden feel of body heat warming your back even though he wasn’t touching you. When he finally spoke his voice was low and quiet;

“You can back out now and there will be no hard feelings. But if you want to stay and continue i can guarantee it will be worth your while in so many ways. So, what will it be?”

You could feel your hands shaking with nerves, hell, even excitement. Taking a deep breath you slid one foot back and moved until your ass was pressing against Mr Walkers crotch;

“I’d like to stay please. I very much enjoyed the gifts, Daddy”

“Good girl”

“You look fantastic, i made the right choice with this set” he took hold of your asscheek; “Are you wearing all of it?”

Bending a little at the waist you pushed your ass out and felt as he pushed his hand between your legs, first touching your pussy before moving back and pressing against the jewel of the plug;

“Hmmmn very good. My good girl follows instructions well. Now put your hands on the wall and stick your ass out a little more”

“Yes Daddy”

There were no words, just grunts and moans, and you could feel your legs starting to shake as an orgasm approached rapidly;

“I’m coming…”

“Not yet you aren’t… you’ll come when i tell you to come”

“”Yes… Daddy...”

Gritting your teeth you tried to will the building orgasm to subside, but the way you were being fucked made it hard. Your left leg started to shake violently as you tried to hold back, Capt Rogers ramming into you from behind before he finally grunted;

“Cum for me now”

When he pulled out you winced, quickly closing your legs as you felt his seed already start to drip out of you, and as he tucked himself back into his dress pants he winked;

“Good girl. Keep me inside” he reached for your hand; “Now come, a glass of champagne”

“Sit” he called out from the kitchen before you heard the quiet pop of the cork.

“But… i’ll make a mess of your leather…” you called back, only to hear his voice as he approached holding two glasses of the golden frizzante.

“Doesn’t matter. For what i have planned you’ll be making even more of a mess than just a smear of my cum”

“Now, i said sit”

Capt Rogers hadn’t moved, and you were now eye level with his crotch, the outline of his cock clear to see as the fine fabric clung to him. Licking your lips you quickly sipped at your glass again before he tucked a finger beneath your chin to pull your gaze up to his face;

“Don’t worry, you’ll be getting another load soon… i have something else planned first… tell me a little about yourself…”

“I asked you to tell me about yourself…”

“Would you like to open your gift?”

“Oh my god…”

Glancing up you saw Capt Rogers eyeing you suspiciously, before you wrapped your hand around the contents and pulled it from the packaging, laying it across both of your palms as you gazed down at the heavy rubber dildo. It was so detailed, every vein and ridge perfectly formed, before a thought suddenly struck you and your eyes went wide;

“Is this… is this you?”

For a moment you simply held it, wide eyed at the thought of performing such an intimate act, but shook that thought from your mind as you settled back against the cushions, hooking both feet onto the edge of the low glass table in front of you, your heels hanging over the edge as you parted your thighs and trailed a hand down to your core, rubbing against the wet lace that was soaked from Capt Rogers fucking you just a few minutes before. Lifting the dildo you considered it for a moment before spitting on it, bringing your soaked hand up and working the combined wetness over the thickness, pulling your panties to one side and resting the wide tip at your entrance.

Working your body in the same way you had done so many times in private, thinking of Captain Steve Rogers - even before your first sexual encounter with him - it was now surreal as you watched him palming himself through his clothing as you fucked yourself with the rubber imitation of him.

You could feel yourself getting close, the air in the room thick with lust as the only sounds were heavy breathing and the wet sounds coming from between your legs, when he called out;

“Stop”

With a whine you did. Pausing, waiting for his instruction;

“Take it out and stand”

The obscene sucking squelch as you removed the dildo from your aching core filled the room, before you set it down on the box and stood on shaky legs.

“Come here”

Your legs felt like jelly, crossing the room and standing before him, watching as he parted his legs further to make room for you;

“What would you like me to do Daddy?”

“On your knees”

“Lets see how good that mouth of yours is?”

“Cry those tears for me, i know they’re not tears of pain or discomfort… its just overwhelming, isn’t it?”

Gasping for breath you were wide eyed, no doubt your makeup ruined but in the quiet of his apartment you watched him as he gritted his teeth and regained his composure. Finally he spoke;

“Turn around and sit on my lap… legs together and bounce on my dick”

You stood and turned, backing up and bending over before he pressed a hot palm to your naked thigh;

“Stop. Bend over. Let me look at that silken purse”

“Very nice, holding treasures within…”

“Hmmmn, another treasure waiting to be pillaged… but first…”

His warm hands smoothed over the soft globes of your ass before pushing against you back;

“Bounce for me Princess”

“Stay”

---

Steve.

He could feel that you were ready, lifting you up before positioning himself at your prepared hole;

“Just relax Princess, i know you can do it”

He spoke softly, quietly… reassuring you as he watched you slowly stretching around him, and that first inch as he slipped inside you it took all his control not to slam deep inside your guts.

With one hand under your buttcheek he held you up as he could feel your body stretching, growing accustomed to his girth inside you, and as you started to relax he would slip inside a little further.

“OH FUCK…” Steve cursed, his hands flying to your hips and his head rolling back to rest on the couch as he fought not to blow his load right there and then in the dark recesses of your ass.

“Shhhh… slow down Princess…”

“Steve...” you whined, feeling the intense pleasure shoot through your body; “I’m gonna cum”

“Don’t… not yet…” he gasped out; “Please… wait…”

“I can’t…”

Your back arched and you felt your mind leave your body for a split second, vaguely aware of the rumble in Capt Rogers chest as your orgasm set off his own, filling your ass with thick ropes of his seed as you lay prone on his chest.

“Let me run you a bath”

Steve

He’d carried you to his bathroom, running a deep warm bath as he’d helped you undress, rubbing the balls of your feet and you sighed as the pressure of the day seemed to slip from your mind. After helping you into the bath he’d massaged your shoulders as you’d soaked in the tub, before taking a soft natural sponge and gently washed you.

“I’ve set some clothing out for you on my bed, i’ll be right out once i’ve showered”

“Looks good on you”

You turned and smiled at his words and he could have sworn he felt his heart swell just a little more at the look on your face, watching as you bounced across the room and planted a kiss to his lips;

“Thank you…”

“Looks beautiful on you Princess”

Searching through the coffee station in Steve’s kitchen you found a box of mixed herbals teas, and once you’d figured out his over engineered kettle it was soon warming up to get to a steady boil. Looking around the kitchen you spied the half drunk bottle on the counter, surprised when it stated it was zero alcohol when you felt a pair of warm arms wrap around your waist and a bearded mouth trace kissed up your neck;

“There’s still champagne…”

His deep voice resonated through your spine, and you slowly spun in his arms before you wrapped yours around his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his lips;

“I need something to soothe my throat after all the screaming you made me do”

“Fair enough” he said with a smile, giving your ass a squeeze; “Go take a seat, i’ll bring it over to you”

A few minutes later he set a steaming mug down in front of you, sitting beside you as he cleared his throat;

“I have a proposition for you…”

Blowing on the hot tea you raised an eyebrow as he continued;

“I’d like to keep you”

“Keep me?”

He shifted on his seat;

“I mean… come to an arrangement… an exclusive arrangement”

“So, like a sugar Daddy thing?” you asked

“Yes, as in a kept-woman”

You paused for a moment, considering what he was telling you before gently setting down your tea;

“I like the sound of this, but i want you to be specific with what you mean, what will be provided, and what any repercussions are”

“How do you feel about that?” he asked as he finally finished detailing what seemed like the dream arrangement.

You smiled at him as you shifted on the seat, straddling his lap and wrapping your arms around his shoulders;

“I think i feel pretty good about it”

Your lips met and the kiss was deep and passionate, bodies entwined and arousal growing when suddenly a loud ringing came from the table, Steve’s phone furiously vibrating against the glass.

“Fuck… Sorry, i need to get that”

Steve quickly lifted and set you down on the couch as he stood and answered the phone, listening intently before ending the call with a curt confirmation. Crossing the room he knelt at the side of the couch;

“I’m so sorry, i’ve got to go… my work…”

“I get it” you interrupted; “I know your line of work means sudden assignments”

“I’ve got to be at the compound in an hour, but your place is on the way so i can drop you home, this isn’t how i wanted today to end, but its the job…”

“I understand”

Twenty minutes later you were standing on the sidewalk outside your building, watching as Steve’s plain black Audi disappeared into traffic, wanting to wave but he’d said not to. Your phone chimed and your eyes went wide when you saw the ‘tip’ he’d given you, more than three months rent and a promise to call when he was off mission. You had never imagined you’d be in this situation, but you weren’t going to pass up the opportunity.

What you didn’t see was the person watching you from the shadows, already knowing you were their target, the perfect leverage.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfic #captain america x reader #captain america x you

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tony-is-my-daddy · 4 years ago

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Hi guys! So this is my 1000th post on this blog. I cannot express how thankful I am to all of you who have followed me and still read and see and like all of my stupid posts. I see all of your likes and reblogs and tags and comments, it fills my heart with such great happiness, you all are awesome! I'm so glad I get to be in this amazing fandom, it kinda feels like a second family at this point.

Anyway, tumblr freaked out when I wanted to post the whole thing in one, so I will separate it into two parts. Enjoy part one.

Dream a little dream of me

Peter loved his job more than anything. Being a kindergarten teacher was great, he loved being around kids and he knew the feeling was mutual, most of his kids said he was their favorite teacher. He had so many of their drawings and crafts, he kept them in a special folder in his desk at home. It warmed his heart and made a huge smile stretch over his face when he saw another drawing made for him. He loved all of his students equally. Okay, that's what he told everyone, because he wasn't supposed to say the truth. He couldn't tell people he had a favorite, that was rude and Peter wasn't gonna disappoint his kids. But truth be told, the little girl with the chestnut hair and the sparkly brown eyes and pretty smile was his favorite one of them all.

Morgan Stark, the daughter of a single mother, famous CEO's of Stark Industries and ex-lovers, Pepper Potts and Tony Stark. Morgan had only been Peter's student for a month and she already managed to get into Peter's heart with her charm and her smile. During those first four weeks of the school year, he hadn't had a chance to meet the girl's father. Obviously, he knew who it was. Everyone did. But Peter was so excited to see the man because honestly, Tony Stark had been his biggest celebrity crush for as long as he could remember. The thirty-five years old genius was not just smart and rich, he was also very handsome.

So it was understandable if he forgot how to breathe for a second when he was just reading something while the kids played around, waiting for their parents, and Morgan suddenly yelled out in that angeling voice of hers, "Daddy!"

Peter's head snapped up. He looked at the man at the door as he leaned down and picked up the small girl, kissing her forehead before he sat her on his hip. Peter's jaw dropped and he just stared. Tony was... wow. He was so hot, even more so up close than he did in all those pictures and interviews Peter had seen him in.

"Daddy, look, there's Mr. Parker. He's the nicest teacher ever!" Peter had no idea how to react. He moved to stand up, but then sat back down again, thinking it would be too much. But when the older man approaced him, he stood up anyway.

"So you're the teacher this little one has been telling me about lately. Hello, I'm Tony Stark," the man said with a smile - wow, so that's where Morgan got her smile from - and reached out a hand for Peter. It took a moment for him to process what was going on, but then he shook Tony's hand with an awkward laugh.

"I know, sir. I'm Peter. Parker."

Tony smiled and let the handshake last for a second or two longer than a normal handshake would, but Peter didn't mind.

"Go collect your stuff, babygirl," Tony said and set Morgan down to run back to her classmates and collect her backpack. Then, his attention turned back to Peter, he was now smirking. "Well, Mr. Parker, my daughter seems to love you very much."

"Oh yes, I love her too, you know. She's such a sweet little girl. She became my favorite student recently." He added that last thing quietly so that the rest of the class didn't hear it.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, of course! She's very nice and smart, she probably got that from her dad."

Peter only realized what slipped from his mouth when he saw Tony's lips stretch into a grin. "You think I'm smart, Mr. Parker?"

"Obviously, you're a literal genius, sir. The smartest person of our generation."

"That's very flattering, Mr. Parker. Thank you."

"Please, call me Peter, sir."

"Then you should call me Tony."

Was this flirting? No, there was no way. Right? Tony Stark could've got anyone, lingerie models would hang off his shoulders if he just asked them to do so, so many people wanted to get him and out of them all, why oh why would he choose Peter Parker?

"O-okay. Tony," Peter said, his voice a bit shaky, unsure. Just then, Morgan appeared next to her father, clutching the straps of her Iron Man backpack with her little hands.

"Can we go now," she asked.

"Of course munchkin. Give daddy that backpack, there you go. Say goodbye to Mr. Parker."

"Bye Mr. Parker," she waved as they walked towards the door hand in hand.

"Bye Morgan," he waved as well with a smile. That little girl was so adorable.

The next day, Peter was not expecting Tony again to come collect Morgan, but it looked like neither did Morgan.

They were outside on the playground when Tony walked through the gates and Morgan frowned at her from the sandbox. "Daddy? Why are you here? Where's mommy?"

"Mommy's busy, Morguna. But I'm here, aren't you happy?"

"I am!"

Tony laughed, oh, what a sound. "Alright then, little bug, go get your backpack."

"Yes daddy!"

She was up soon, running through the playground to go back in the building, both Tony and Peter yelling after her to slow down. They looked at each other and laughed.

"We meet again," Tony said, taking a few steps closer towards Peter.

"Looks like it," he said, still smiling.

"How was she today?"

"Oh amazing, just like always. There was a little misunderstanding when Lori over there tried to take one of her toys, but we worked that out eventually."

"Great to hear that," Tony said. He took another step forward. They were now a bit closer than Peter should've been with one of his students' father. "I've wanted to ask, by the way, how old are you, Peter?"

It caught him off-guard a little, usually his kids' parents didn't ask how old he was. They asked about how their children behaved, obviously, but never about Peter. Why would he care about Peter?

"Oh I'm twenty-five, sir. Tony, sorry. Um... why are you asking?"

"I was just curious." Another step forward. Peter's heart was now starting to beat a little faster. "Are you, by any chance, interested in men? Because... I'd like to grab a coffee with you sometime, of course, only if you'd like that."

Well, if the age question caught him off-guard then imagine Peter after that. His eyes widened and he crossed his arms so he could pinch the skin on his upper arm unnoticeably, just to see if he was really not dreaming. But no, Tony Stark still stood in front of him, expecting an answer from him.

Peter swallowed, suddenly noticing how dry his mouth was, before he cleared his throat to speak up. "Like- like on a date?"

"Yes, pretty much. I don't really know if there's a rule against that but... I'd like to take you out sometime. If you want to, that is."

"Well, yeah, yes, sure," he said after a little hesitation. What the hell was he hestitating for? This was Tony fucking Stark himself! "When?"

"Well, here's my number," the billionaire said as he fished his phone out from his pocket, and so did Peter. His hand was shaking a little from how excited he was, which he hoped Tony didn't see. They looked at each other, Tony smirking a little when he asked if he can say it. Peter nodded and the older man told him his number and Peter wrote it in his contact list, naming him Tony Stark with all caps because how crazy was that?!

"Daddy, look, I drew something for mommy!" Morgan's voice startled them again and Peter put his phone away quickly.

"Very beautiful baby, she'll love it."

"I didn't draw anything for you," she said with a little pout.

"That's okay, my love, you'll draw something tomorrow," Tony said with a fond smile as he took ahold of Morgan's little hand.

"But mommy said he'd come for me tomorrow."

"Oh honey, I think mommy will be busy tomorrow as well." Tony glanced at Peter and winked before they turned around and walked through the gates, getting into a black car right outside. As they drove off, Peter's finger started to itch for his phone right away.

He didn't see Tony for a few days after that, even though he said he'd come for Morgan the day he gave him his number. Peter started to worry, thinking it was his fault, that he scared him off. It's been four days, including the weekend, and the older man didn't even try to call him.

Fuck, he didn't even get Peter's number! What if he was waiting for a text? Oh God, Peter was so dumb!

He then and there stopped planning tomorrow's classes and he grabbed his phone, opening the chat with Tony. His thumb danced over the screen for a few minutes, trying to decide what to write, trying to think of something nice and sweet, maybe a bit cheeky to make Tony smile. He wrote and deleted. Wrote and then deleted. Until he decided to just stick with the essentials, and he wrote a //very original// text.

Peter: Hi, it's Peter.

Peter: Parker.

He waited for a few minutes, anxiously staring at his screen for a while before he put it down and decided to make himself a tea to distract himself. He walked into his kitchen, filling the kettle with hot water and putting it on the stove to boil. And while his hands were occupied, his mind could do nothing but wander back to that man. He thought back to that day when he asked him out, when he stepped closer and closer to Peter, close enough to touch but he never did. He was too scared he'd come off as weird or eager if he touched him. After all, what kind of teacher touches his students' parents a day after meeting for the first time?

The water boiled soon and Peter poured some in his huge, colorful mug, placing the tea filter in it, a teaspoon of sugar and then he was back in his living room, grabbing his phone from his desk before he sat down on the couch. He checked if he got any messages. And in that very minute, his phone buzzed, making Peter jump and his phone almost fell out of his hand.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Tony: Well hello Peter, you almost made me think you changed your mind about that date

Peter: No, of course not! I'd still very much like to go out with you

Oh wow, that seemed eager as hell. It dawned on Peter that maybe he should've waited at least a couple minutes before texting back, he now probably seemed so pathetic, like he waited for ten minutes staring at his phone and waiting for Tony to write back. He didn't have too much time to worry about that, because another text from Tony came through.

Tony: That's very good to hear, darling. So when are you free?

It was just as quick as Peter's response. Maybe Tony didn't care about how fast Peter texted back to him, maybe he just wanted to talk...

Peter: I'm free this weekend, Saturday if that's ok with you

Tony: That would be good for me too. Around 9 maybe?

Peter: Sounds perfect

Perfect? Why did he say perfect? "That's good," "that'll be nice," "okay," something simpler like that didn't go through your mind, Parker?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Tony: Then I'll see you in four days, Peter x

Peter: See you x

They really did that. They really just sent each other x's. Peter squealed a little as he put his phone down, jumping on his seat in excitement. He took a sip of the hot tea that's been resting on his coffee table since he made it, and turned on the TV. A silly romcom was playing, The ugly truth. Peter had seen it before, he liked it, mostly because he found Gerard Butler hot. What? He had a thing for older men.

So he settled down on the comfy couch, a blanket over him and the hot tea warming his icy fingertips as he watched the movie. And while he did, he still thought about Tony, and mentally, he was choosing an outfit for the occasion.

Two days later, on a rainy Wednesday when all of the kids were in the room, playing by themselves during the afternoon, Morgan walked up to Peter as he was talking to another student. She pulled him away and then showed him a drawing of hers.

"Wow, Morgan, that's so pretty! Who are these people," he asked, pointing at the stick figures on the paper.

"That's mommy, that's me, and that's you and daddy."

Peter's eyes widened. "Why me and daddy?"

"Because," she started fiddling with her hands dancing from side to side, "I told daddy I like you very much and he said he likes you too and he said he will take you on a date but I can't tell anyone but I wanted to tell you so please don't tell daddy I told you but he wants to take you on a date."

Peter chuckled, ruffling her brown hair. She looked so much like Tony. "It's okay, little one, I'm sure daddy won't be mad you told me. But don't tell anyone else if he doesn't want you to, okay?"

"Otay!"

"Will you go back to playing now?"

"Yes but I want you to have the drawing."

"I'll keep the drawing," he said with a warm smile and Morgan giggled happily before skipping away, back to her friends. Peter looked at the drawing for quite a while as he walked back to his desk, sitting on top of it. It was like any drawing done by a small child, but this was... somehow different. His kids often drew him and then gave the drawing to him, but this wasn't like that. Morgan drew her father, her mother, herself and Peter. She drew her family... and Peter.

"Hey," he heard a voice next to him and he looked up from the drawing in his hand. It was Tony. "I came for Morgan."

He came in so quietly, not even Morgan was aware that her dad walked into the room. She was playing along with her friends, her back turned to Tony and Peter.

"Hi," Peter greeted when he looked back at Tony.

"What are you looking at?"

"It's a- uh... Morgan drew this for me today." He put the drawing down on the desk facing downwards so that Tony didn't see it. "So you're taking dad duty today?"

"Sort of. Can I see the drawing?"

"Sort of? So you're just picking her up and then dropping her at her mom's house?"

"No, I'm taking her for dinner as well, but full dad duty is when she sleeps at mine. So the drawing-"

"How often does she sleep at yours?"

"Every second week, except for when I have busieness trips."

"I didn't see you last month at all, though."

"No, we left out a month, I had lots of things to do. I've missed her so much."

"I bet you did. I'd miss her too if I didn't get to see her for a month."

"So... can I see the drawing," he asked again.

"Morgan, look who it is!"

"Daddyyy!"

Tony tried to look at Peter angrily, but a smile spread over his face. "Cheeky," he said before turning around and crouching down in front of his daughter. "What's up Morguna? Are you ready for a fun afternoon?"

"Yeees!"

"Grab your jacket and your backpack and we can go." As Morgan ran away, he straightened up again and looked at Peter. "And you... I'll pick you up at 8:30 on Saturday, send me your address."

"Gladly," Peter chuckled.

After the Starks left, Peter turned the drawing up again and stared at it for a couple more minutes until another parent arrived to pick up their kid. He had no idea how to feel about being a part of their family just yet... but he very much liked the idea of Tony Stark.

A few days later, Peter was up at 7am, trying to choose between three outfits for his date that morning. The night before, he went through two facemasks, a hairwash and shaving as well (no, he wasn't about to get to business on the first date, but better be safe than sorry), so for the morning, all he had to do was get dressed and do his hair.

He may or may not had a little breakdown while trying to decide which outfit he wanted to wear, but that's normal, and at the end, he chose a V-neck burgundi shirt with jeans and a jacket. He styled his hair perfectly (thank the hair gods for that, he had never managed to do that before), and panicked when his doorbell buzzed.

"Parker, who is this?"

"Tony."

"You said you'd text before you left and called when you got here!"

"Wanted to surprise you."

"Oh my God, be glad I'm ready anyways, otherwise you'd be in trouble."

Tony laughed. "Alright, Cinderella, come down and show me yourself."

Peter smiled and grabbed his keys and wallet from the kitchen counter before heading out.

"Wow," Tony mumbled when they finally met in front of the building. "Didn't think you could look better."

Peter blushed. "Thank you." The man in front of him was wearing a button up and black jeans, a jacket casually thrown over his shoulders. He looked so effortlessly good, the kind that would get up from bed and just look sexy as ever. "You look great, too."

"Why thank you, angel. Shall we go?"

"Oh yes, of course! Where are we going?"

"I wanted to take you somewhere further away but I saw a very cute café not far away, we could walk there," Tony said as he took ahold of Peter's hand and wrapped it around his arm to lead him. Wow, no one has ever done that to Peter before.

"That's my favorite place!"

"I assumed," Tony commented with a triumphant smirk.

"Since when do you teach kindergarteners?"

"I started about three years ago, I graduated early."

"And why this career?"

Peter chuckled. He often got that question. "I think it's one of the most important jobs, to raise the next generation well. If you don't do it right then humanity will just get more and more screwed up."

"Fair point."

Peter then turned the question around. "And why guns?"

Tony sighed. "It was my dad's legacy. He wanted me to carry on with it, so I did, and I didn't see anything wrong with it until..."

He knew Tony was talking about the time he got kidnapped by the Ten Rings and became Iron Man. That was when Peter really started looking up to the man, he thought it was a very heroic move and he wasn't sure if he'd have had the balls to give up his job to be a superhero and fight people.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"No, it's okay, I just don't talk about this on the first date," he dodged with a joke. Peter laughed and happily changed the subject before it got too much for Tony.

After the short walk, they entered the café and ordered two coffees and pastries for each of them. As they had their breakfasts (at least that's what it was for Peter), they talked about movies, and turns out they were both huge fans of retro sci-fis and action movies. Peter also mentioned that he liked romcoms and after a while, Tony admitted that he "kinda likes them" as well. It was sweet to see this man, a billionaire genius superhero, open up and show Peter his soft side.

But the softest side of Tony came through when Peter asked about Morgan.

"Me and my back then secretary, Pepper had this crazy night. We were both drunk and somehow she just got pregnant. At first we really panicked, but now, we wouldn't have in otherwise. This little sunshine is really the highlight of our lives, she's so chatty and so cute. And I hate watching Disney movies every single night when she's over, but that would be the smallest sacrifice if it meant I could have her over all the time." He showed Peter hundreds of images of her on his phone and Peter's heart melted more and more from every picture. The drawing that the little girl gave him on Wednesday popped into his mind again and now he saw it from a slightly different perspective...

They didn't even notice how quick the time went as they talked, it was like they'd only just met up in front of Peter's building, but when he caught a glimpse of Tony's Rolex, he saw that they've been there for over two hours. He mentioned it to Tony, who laughed and offered Peter a walk home, which he gladly accepted. The older man didn't let him pay the bill either, even though Peter said multiple times that he doesn't expect Tony to buy everything for him. He just insisted.

"I had a lot of fun today, Peter," Tony said as they were heading back to Peter's apartment, this time with not only their arms wrapped around the other's, but holding hands. It felt so natural to hold the man's hand, it made Peter feel somehow... safe.

"So did I. Maybe we could do it again sometime?"

"Oh yeah, I'd like that a lot. Maybe a proper dinner next time?"

Peter raised an eyebrow. "Will you let me pay for at least half of the bill?"

"You're going out with a billionaire and you seriously want to pay the bill?"

"Yes! I'm not going out with you for your money, Tony. I want you to know that. So next time, you'll let me pay."

"If that's what you really want then okay."

When they got back to Peter's apartment, Tony took the younger man's chin between his fingers and tilted it to the side so he could kiss his cheek. Peter blushed deeply and smiled awkwardly. "Thank you so much for today, Peter. I'll see you later."

"Thank you as well. See you."

He watched Tony get in his car before he opened the door, getting in as he heard the engine start. He waved through the window at Tony as he drove away before twirling around twice. Something so unlike life just happened to him and if he was dreaming, he'd give everything for it to never end.

@staticwhispersinthedark wanted to be tagged so here you go!

#starker #starker fanfiction #starker fanfic #teacher x parent au #fluff #tony stark/peter parker #tony stark x peter parker #tony x peter #au #no powers au #teacher peter #single dad tony

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lievmultimuses1 · 4 years ago

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Fandoms I Write!

This is my main blog which focus on superheroes type of muses but i do have four other sideblogs that have other type of muses! i do ask you for patience because i also run a gif blog and i am always making gifs

this is open to non mutuals so feel free to check my open starters tags!

TOTAL OF MUSES: 3.421

Can't pick a muse to interact? Don't worry i know i have a lot of them so why not try your luck? send me random starter and i will use a random number generator to pick a muse from all my blogs and make you a starter, if you are a multi muse i will try to make it as open as possible for any of your muse or you can add who you want the starter.

discord: crystalclear#4625

guidelines! muses! open starters! edit icons!

@lievmultimuses1: Agent Carter, Agents of SHIELD, Ant Man, Aquaman, Archer, Arrow, Avengers, Batman, Batwoman, Black Lightning, Black Panther, Captain America, Captain Marvel, Cloak & Dagger, Constantine, Danny Phanton, Daredevil, Deadpool, Defenders, Doctor Strange, Doctor Who, Fantastic Four, Flash, Futurama, Game of Thornes, Gifted, Good Omens, Gotham, Green Lantern, Guardians of the Galaxy, H2O: Just Add Water, Hancock, Harley Quinn, Harry Potter, Hawkeye, Hulk, Inhumans, Iron Fist, Iron Man, IronHeart, iZombie, Jackie Chan Adventures, Jessica Jones, Jurassic Park/World, Justice League, Kim Possible, Kingsman, Lara Croft, Legends of Tomorrow, Librarians, Lucifer, Luke Cage, Man from UNCLE, Man of Steel, Mandalorian, Marvel, Matrix, Men in Black, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Neon Genesis Evengelion, Once Upon a Time/Wonderland, Pirates of the Caribbean, Pokemon, PowerPuff Girls, Preacher, Punisher, Sailor Moon, Sarah Jane Adventures, Scooby-Doo, Shazam!, Smallville, Spider-Man, Spider-Woman, Star Trek/Discovery/Pickard, Star Wars, Stranger Things, Suicide Squad, Supergirl, Swamp Thing, Teen Titans, Thor, Torchwood, Totally Spies, Venom, Wonder Woman, Xena: Warrior Princess, X-Men, Young Justice

@lievmultimuses2: 6 Underground, 007, 9-1-1, 21 Jump Street, 24/Legacy, 1600 Penn, Ace Ventura, Ally McBeal, Almost Human, Anger Management, A-Team, Bad Boys, Barney Miller, Barry, Baywatch, Blue Bloods, Bones, Bounty Hunter, Broadchurch, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Burn Notice, Castle, Chance, Charlie's Angels, Chicago Fire/Justice/Med/PD, Chicago Hope, Chuck, Covert Affairs, Criminal Minds/Beyond Border/Suspect Behavior, Death in Paradise, Designated Survivor, Detroit: Become Human, Dexter, Die Hard, Dollhouse, Drop Dead Diva, Elementary, Empire, E.R, Fast and the Furious, Finder, Franklin & Bash, Frasier, Fringe, Get Smart, Go On, Gone Girl, Good Doctor, Grey's Anatomy, Guardian, Hannibal, Hart of Dixie, Hawaii Five-0, Homeland, House, House of Cards, How to Get Away with Murder, In Time, Jason Bourne, John Doe, John Wick, Jonathan Creek, KC Undercover, Killing Eve, Las Vegas, Last Enemy, Law & Order/SVU/UK, Legally Blonde, Lethal Weapon, Leverage, Lewis, Limitless, Luther, Man of a Ledge, Masters of Sex, Matrix, Mentalist, Miss Congeniality, Mission Impossible, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Mr. Robot, National Treasure, NCIS/Los Angeles/New Orleans, Nerve, Newsroom, Night Manager, Night Shift, Nikita, Nip/Tuck, Ocean's Eleven, Pan Am, Peaky Blinders, Person of Interest, Prey, Prison Break, Private Practice, Psych, Quantico, Recovery Road, Red, Revenge, Ringer, Rules of Engagement, Rush, Rush Hour, S.W.A.T., Saving Hope, Scandal, Scrubs, Sherlock, Sif Feet Under, Spy, Station 19, Suits, Terminator the Sarah Connor Chronicles, Thick of It, Third Watch, Veep, Veronica Mars, West Wing, White Chicks, White Collar

@lievmultimuses3: Shit my Dad Says, 2 Broke Girls, 7th Heaven, 8 Mile, 8 Simple Rules, 10 Things I Hate About You, 18 to Life, 27 Dresses, 30 Rock, 50 First Dates, 50 Shades of Grey, 90210, A Cinderella Story, A Dona do Pedaço, A Força do Querer, A Turma da Mônica, A Walk to Remember, According to Jim, Arrested Development, Austin & Ally, Baby Daddy, Bad Education, Beverly Hills, 90210, Big Bang Theory, Big Daddy, Big Love, Big Time Rush, Black-ish, Boy Meets Girl, Boy Meets World, Bride Wars, Brothers & Sisters, Californication, Camp Rock, Carmichael Show, Carrie Diaries, Casual, Client List, Community, Cougar Town, Desperate Housewives, Devil Wears Prada, Drake & Josh, Easy A, Everybody Hates Chris, Everybody Loves Raymond, First Daughter, For Better or Worse, Fortysomething, Freaks and Geeks, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Friday Night Lights, Friends, Friends with Better Lives, Full House, Fuller House, Get Down, Gilmore Girls, Girl Meets World, Girls Trip, Glee, Golden Girls, Good Luck Charlie, Gossip Girl, Grandfathered, Great Gatsby, Great Indoors, Greek, Grown Ups, Hangover, Hannah Montana, Heartland, Hey Arnold!, Holiday, Hot in Cleveland, House Bunny, House of Payne, How I Met Your Mother, How to be Single, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, iCarly, Insatiable, Insecure, Instant Star, Jessie, Joey, Just Friends, Kenan & Kel, King of Queens, Last Man Standing, Life as We Know It, Lipstick Jungle, Liv and Maddie, Love Thy Neighbor, Lying Game, Mad About You, Mad Men, Mamma Mia!, Marlon, Married with Children, Mean Girls, Middle, Mike & Molly, Modern Family, Mom, Mr. Deeds, Music and Lyrics, My Wife and Kids, Nanny, Nashville, Neighborhood, Neds Declassified School Survival Guide, New Girl, New Normal, Not Going Out, Notebook, O.C, Odd Couple, Office, One Big Happy, One Tree Hill, Overboard, Paren Trap, Pretty Little Liars, Pretty Woman, Princess Protection Program, Raise Your Voice, Riverdale, Royals, Samantha Who?, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, Secret Life of the American Teenager, Seinfeld, Sex and the City, Shake it Up!, Shallows, Shameless, She's Out of My League, Significant Mother, Simpsons, Skins, Some Kind of Beautiful, Sonny with a Chance, SpongeBob SquarePants, Starstruck, Suburgatory, Superior Donuts, Switched at Birth, That '70s Show, This is Us, True Jackson, Two and a Half Men, Ugly Betty, Ugly Truth, Victorious, Weeds, We're the Millers, What a Girl Wants, What I Like About You, Will & Grace, Young Sheldon, Zoe Ever After, Zoey 101, Zoe Ever After

@lievmultimuses4: 3rd Rock from the Sun, 13 Going 30, 16 Wishes, 17 Again, A series of Unfortunate Events, Addams Family, Alice in Wonderland, American Horror Story, Angel, Beauty and the Beast, Being Human UK/US, Bewitched, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Change-Up, Charmed, Click, Danny Phantom, Descendants, Dracula, Early Edition, Fairly OddParents, Fear the Walking Dead, Freaky Friday, Game of Thrones, Ghost Whisperer, Gifted, Good Place, Grimm, Harry Potter, Hemlock Grove, Heroes, Hobbit, Hot Chick, I Dream of Jeannie, Invisible Sister, IT, Legacies, Legend of the Seeker, Life on Mars, Lord of the Rings, Merlin, Munsters, Originals, Outcast, Pushing Daisies, Raven's Home, Resident Evil, Returned, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Sailor Moon, Secret Circle, Sense8, Shadowhunters, Shaun of the Dead, Silent Hill, Sleepy Hollow, Supernatural, Teen Wolf, That's so Raven, Tru Calling, True Blood, Twilight, Vampire Diaries, Walking Dead, Westworld, Wizards of Waverly Place, World's End, X-Files

@lievmultimuses5: Bolt, Cars, Frozen, Lion King, Princess Diaries, Princess and the Frog, Toy Story

#ooc // Liev speaks

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hostess-of-horror · 3 years ago

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A Family Gathering

[M.B. is my Cadetsona OC, Shelley is my Sam and Max fanchild OC, M.J. belongs to @sleepy-heads-blog, and Sean and Nyarly belong to @drusb]

Note: This takes place after "A Day at the Diner" and before "Cadet's First Case".

---

Shelley: "Big brother, look!"

[With a toothy grin, Shelley lifts up a long centipede from underneath a rock. M.J. turns around to see her shaking it with glee.]

M.J.: "Oooh, that's a big one! Good job, Shelley!"

[Shelley squeaks happily and proceeds to eat the centipede, which makes a slight crunchy sound. M.J. smiles and leans onto the porch fence, looking out onto the neighborhood. The Commissioner had given Sam and Max a day off since there were no cases to be found. So in order to celebrate that sometimes-rare occasion, they invited family and friends over. M.J. could hear the commotion from inside the house; their laughter muffled by the walls. He could join them, but he was waiting for someone. He watches out towards the right side of the road patiently. Shelley looks up, climbs up the fence, and sits right on the edge next to M.J.]

M.J.: "I think you're gonna like Miss M.B. She's a really nice lady."

Shelley: "Miss... M...B...?"

M.J.: "Uh-huh. She is Dad and Papa's Cadet for the Freelance Police. Miss M.B. is our friend and she has these really cool powers that make all sorts of things appear."

[Shelley tilts her head, her ears flopping to one side. M.J. reaches out and lifts her up, carrying her like a small baby.]

M.J.: "I definitely think she'll really like you."

[Suddenly, a horn is heard. It's the DeSoto, pulling up into the front parking lot. M.J. knew what that meant.]

M.J.: "Dad! Papa! Miss M.B.!"

Sam: "Hey, son! Hey, Shelley!"

Max: "Hello, my little critters!"

[Coming out of the backseat is M.B., dressed in much nicer clothing than she wore before. A long, black, sheer kimono drapes over a soft tank top and a long black skirt, which is covered in coffin patterns. Her jewelry were a mix of spiked bracelets and several Anhks on her necklace and earrings. Over her eyes are a pair of magenta tea shades. Her dirty blonde hair is hanging loose around her shoulders, revealing her shaved hair on the right side of her head. Her boots were black leather with a touch of heel to them.]

M.B.: "Hey, lil' dude! How's it going?"

M.J.: "Miss M.B., you're here!"

[M.J. runs up to receive a big hug from M.B.]

M.B.: "Aw, did you miss me?" *gasps* "And who is this?"

M.J.: "Oh! This is Shelley, our new baby sister."

M.B.: "Awwww, she's so precious! Hi there, Shelley. It's nice to meet you."

[Shelley looks up at M.B., almost shying away. She then returns the smile. M.B. giggles.]

Sam: "Well, the rest of the family's inside, so let's not keep 'em waiting, shall we?"

[Sam wraps his arms around the two and heads up towards the entrance. They all enter inside and in the living room sits Sean and Nyarly in a couch playing Mortal Kombat while Geek and John watches.]

Sean: "Oh hey, you're back!"

Geek: "Hi, M.B.!"

M.B.: "Hey Geek."

[M.B. waves and smiles. But deep down inside, she still cannot help but feel terrible about breaking her heart over at the Diner. Even if everything has been patched up afterwards.]

Nyarly: "God, stop picking Scorpion! Choose someone else for once!"

Sean: "I do better with Scorpion, he's my main! It's not my fault you're a noob at this game."

Nyarly: "Alright, Noob Saibot it is. Let's go!"

M.B.: "Ooooh, Mortal Kombat! I love this game!"

[She goes to sit down alongside Geek and John. M.J. joins and Shelley goes over to Sam and climbs up onto his back.]

Shelley: "Father!"

Sam: "Hehe, hey there, sweetie. Father loves you too. Wanna help me with tonight's dinner? Come on. To the kitchen!"

[Sam rushes into the kitchen, giving Shelley a piggy back ride. She squeals in delight, giggling all the way. Max follows the two. The rest of the family sits and watches Sean and Nyarly battle it out on Mortal Kombat. Scorpion vs. Noob Saibot. Fighting to the death in the main tournament stage.]

Nyarly: "Oh, come on!"

Sean: *smirks*

Nyarly: "Are you spamming the special move button?!"

Sean: ".... maybe."

Nyarly: "Well, two can play at that game."

[Noob Saibot successfully dodges Scorpion's attack and perfectly lands a combo move. Soon an x-ray vision appears on the screen, revealing every graphic detail of Scorpion's bones being broken into bits. This brings his health bar all the way down.]

Nyarly: "HA!"

Sean: "What?!"

[Then the moment of truth. A voice booms, "FATALITY!" Nyarly quickly presses in the buttons and immediately Noob Saibot begins his fatality. Sean looks on in utter defeat as Scorpion gets brutally slaughtered by the hands of his opponent. M.B. claps.]

M.B.: "Well done, Nyarly!"

Nyarly: "Hey, M.B., wanna join?"

M.B.: "Oh hell yeah. Although I am a bit rusty, I must admit. Been a while since I played this game."

Nyarly: "Ah, don't worry... I'll go easy on you."

M.B.: "Is that a challenge?"

Nyarly: "....maybe."

M.B.: "Oh-kay then, let's go."

[Sean gives the controller to M.B. and switch seats. Nyarly picks Noob Saibot again. M.B. picks Mileena.]

Sean: "Oh, Mileena?"

M.B.: "Yeah, she's one of my favorites. Both beauty and beast."

[After picking a stage, the fight begins. Noob Saibot begins to win until Mileena manages to bring his health down by a landslide. Round One ends with Mileena's victory.]

M.B.: "Yes!"

Nyarly: "Ah, that was just beginner's luck!"

M.B.: "Heh... How's that denial working for ya?"

[Sean and Geek 'ooooh's and laughs. Nyarly slowly turns to M.B.]

Nyarly: "Wow, smart-ass." *chuckles* "Alright, no more Mr. Nice Guy."

[Round Two begins. Noob Saibot brings out the big guns and completely decimates Mileena.]

M.B.: "Ah sh*t!"

Geek: "You got this, M.B.!"

M.J.: "Last round!"

[The final round begins and it becomes intense. M.B. slams her buttons with all her might as Nyarly presses every combo he can remember. Eventually, Mileena manages to get an x-ray combo on Noob Saibot.]

M.B.: "YEAH!"

Nyarly: "Don't jinx yourself now!"

[This brings down Noob Saibot's health bar. Now both health bars are almost at equal amounts. Nyarly dodges Mileena's attack and gets an x-ray combo on her. M.B.'s competitiveness comes out and desperately slams the buttons even more. This leads to both characters almost dying. Just a few hits and one of them is done for.]

Sean: "Oh damn..."

Geek: "Who's it gonna be?"

M.J.: "Oh, so close!"

[Mileena makes an attempt to dodge and hit Noob Saibot with a combo attack, but wasn't quick enough. FATALITY!]

Nyarly: "Looks like I win again."

Sean: "You were so close, M.B.!"

M.B.: *chuckles* "I know!"

Nyarly: "That was a really good fight, though. You did pretty good. Alright, who's next?"

M.J.: "Oh, oh, oh, me! Me! Me!"

[M.B. hands over the controller and switches seats. Another battle begins, this time between Raiden and Kitana. Suddenly, the doorbell rings.]

Geek: "I got it!"

[Geek opens the door. Standing in front of the entrance is another family member.]

Geek: *gasps* "Granny!"

Granny Ruth: "Hello, dearie!" *hugs Geek* "I hope I wasn't late."

Geek: "Not at all. We're just getting started. Come on in!"

M.J. and John: "Granny Ruth!"

[Nyarly pauses the game and allows M.J. to join in on the group hug. Granny Ruth is immediately showered with affection by her great grandchildren. Sam and Max come out of the kitchen and greet her as well. Granny Ruth looks over to see M.B.]

Granny Ruth: "Ah, you must be the new Cadet my grandson has been telling me about. Why, it's so good to finally see you, dearie!"

M.B.: "Pleasure to meet you, ma'am."

Granny Ruth: "Oh, please, no need for formalities. You can just call me 'Granny'." *smiles*

[Granny Ruth reaches out for a hug and M.B. accepts it. M.B. has heard so many good things about Granny Ruth from Sam and Max. Amazing things, in fact. So much so that getting permission to just call her 'Granny' felt like the highest of honor. M.B. has family back home, so of course she would never forget them. But at this very moment, M.B. felt like she belonged. Like she was wanted.]

Max: "You're just in time, Granny Ruth! We just finished fixing up dinner. Just head right into the kitchen and help yourselves out!"

[Everyone headed into the kitchen and was greeted to a whole potluck dinner. The entire room smells delicious, making M.B.'s mouth water. After everyone got their plates and their meals, they all sat down together and ate. Soon M.B. learns that Sam and Max's family were anything but "normal." Boisterous laughter erupted as conversations began turning into jokes. M.B. felt more and more comfortable with them, for all of this was very familiar to her. Her own family were full of funny people, especially her uncle. As she was getting really comfortable sitting in silence, watching everyone chat, a question gave her quite the surprise.]

M.J.: "Oh, Miss M.B.! Can you show us your powers after dinner?"

Granny Ruth: "Powers?"

Sam: "The kid has illusionary abilities. She can make things appear out of thin air."

Max: "I think she's some sort of witch or something."

M.J.: "Yeah, she once defended me from a bully once. Come on, Miss M.B.! Please~?"

M.B.: "Oh, uh... sure! Sorry, you just caught me off guard. Wasn't expecting it, that's all. I'll think of something after dinner."

M.J.: "Yay!"

[The spotlight has fallen upon M.B. She always hated stuff like this, having other people ask for her to do or perform something. Despite having an immense interest in theater, she wasn't one to always try to attract attention. Especially when the spotlight is forced upon her. However, this was different - an exception, because how could anyone resist an adorable little bunny in a sweater? When dinner was finished, everyone gathered outside in the backyard as M.B. walks further from them, making the entire lot her stage. She checks her phone for Wi-Fi and searches up some music. M.B. finally picks a song: "Dance with the Dragon" by Dark Sarah. As it begins to play, she focuses in on her powers. The purple and green aura emerges from her hands and evoke a wondrous scene. A decadent ballroom lit with multiple candles where a young lady in a black gown is captured by well-dressed gentleman, who is a dragon in disguise. The lyrics begin to sing.]

Lyrics:

[DRAGON:]

🎶I know why you're here, don't try to escape my dear, you've been naughty I know by trying to steal something of my own🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶I have no idea, why I have been dragged down here...🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶Don't lie!🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶...Nor what you're talking about, and sir there's no reason to shout!🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶And sure there's a reason to shout!🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶I saw the key but didn't steal!🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶You saw the key and tried to steal!🎶 [DRAGON:] I see... What do we have here?

[DARK SARAH:] What?... nothing... [DRAGON:] 🎶Now I know why you're here, you are a mischievous thief,🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶... just can't lie to him...🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶But if you want the key, you need to earn it my my dear!🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶He sees right through me, oh bugger! He just..🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶This is how we treat our guests who are trying to cheat, you need to earn it my dear!🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶...took the only ticket I had, I guess I have to🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶so you will be my rag doll tonight, tonight,🎶

[DARK SARAH:] 🎶see where this leads🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶At the dragon's ball!🎶

[The lady and the Dragon then begin to dance.] [DARK SARAH & DRAGON:] 🎶Take my all, I surrender, surrender! Look at me and the way I ask for forgiveness, kindness and help! Take my all, I surrender, surrender! You/I will die another day, another way🎶 [DARK SARAH:] I think we're done now [DRAGON:] You think so? [DARK SARAH:] ...I have to go! [DRAGON:] 🎶You're not going anywhere!🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶Why are you, making this🎶

[DRAGON:] 🎶You don't know...🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶...Harder than it is?🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶I cry on my own...🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶You have the key,🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶In this lonely place...🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶That you don't even need🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶That is why...🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶You're standing here between me and my life.🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶...I'm standing here between you and your life!🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶...I'm sorry to say...🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶What now?🎶

[DARK SARAH:]

🎶...just get off with your tail!🎶 🎶Hahhah!!!🎶 [DARK SARAH & DRAGON:] 🎶Take my all, I surrender, surrender! Look at me and the way I ask for forgiveness, kindness and help! Take my all, I surrender, surrender! You/I will die another day, another way🎶

[Then M.B. morphs the scene into a beautiful garden. This is the dragon's backstory, where he was once happy. There with him is his bride, who looks very similar to the lady.] [DARK SARAH & DRAGON:] 🎶Nannannannanna, Leoleolelee!🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶May I have this dance?🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶Aaaah!🎶 [DARK SARAH & DRAGON:] 🎶Nannannannanna, Leoleolelee!🎶 [DRAGON:] 🎶I will show you my best moves...🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶Aaaah, you best moves...🎶

[The flashback fades and the scene returns to the present.] [DRAGON:] 🎶... Why don't you?🎶 [DARK SARAH:] 🎶I just need the key, I'm trying to get out of here I know that it's a bad deal And disappointed you must feel But please help me to escape🎶 [DARK SARAH & DRAGON:] 🎶Take my all, I surrender, surrender! Look at me and the way I ask for forgiveness, kindness and help! Take my all, I surrender, surrender! You/I will die another day, another way Look at me and the way I ask for Forgiveness, kindness and help! Take my all, I surrender, surrender! We will die another day, another way... another way...another way...another day...another way...! 🎶

[M.B. ends her illusionary show. The whole family goes into a roaring applauds, cheering at the amazing spectacle.]

M.J.: "THAT WAS AWESOME!!!"

Geek: "Dude!"

Shelley: *happy bat squeaks*

Granny Ruth: "Well I'll be... I've never seen such a wonderful show since I was a little girl. You, dearie, have such a wonderful gift."

M.B.: "Thanks, Granny. Thank you all so very much!"

[Sam leans over and nudges Max.]

Sam: *whispering* "You know, little buddy, she can make quite a difference when it comes to cases."

Max: *whispering back* "You mean like making mushy fairy tales while blasting musical numbers from her phone?"

Sam: "I mean as our Cadet, pinhead! Imagine all the things she could do for the law!"

Max: "I dunno, Sam... is she even prepared to get smacked down by a bunch of hardened criminals? 'Cause she's giving me theater kid vibes, as the youth put it."

[Sam and Max watch as M.B. is surrounded by the rest of the family. M.B. is receiving hugs and pats on the back. She even lifts and hold Shelley in her arms, creating a tiny blue butterfly for her to marvel at. It lands on her nose, tickling her.]

Sam: "Heh... let's find out, shall we?"

#my writing #M.B.#The Cadet's #Cadetsona OC #Self-insert OC #M.J.#Geek #John #Sean and Nyarly #Granny Ruth #Sam and max freelance police #Sam and max freelance husbands #Sam and max this time it's virtual #This Time It's Virtual #Sam and max

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thatdamnokie · 4 years ago

Text

so, as everybody knows, our man, the lovely mark strong, turned 57 this past august 5th

since the kingsman films have had a huge influence on several aspects of my day-to-day life (gee, wonder what group of people i could be referring to...), i decided to sit down and do something i’ve been thinking about since getting my medical card earlier this year: getting high as a kite and watching them back-to-back.

to celebrate mark’s birthday, i decided to do another running commentary post like the one i did for rocknrolla ages ago, under the cut. it’s a pretty similar style, which is to say not necessarily super coherent and might be hard to understand if you’ve never seen the movies. D:

there are some mentions of the roanoke society, but not many.

if even just one person finds this mildly entertaining for four seconds, then i’ll have done my job. there is a lot of cursing and this is NOT spoiler-free.

enjoy~

edited 9.1.20 to correct typos and such, please remember that i was Not Sober while i wrote this lmao

how many times have i watched these movies at this point? i don’t even know.

i always liked the nifty like—retro arcade marv opening animation

and the thing with the tapes! we love book-ending devices!

kingsman: badass motherfuckers worldwide incorporated

like why was merlin even with them? i understand why lee and james would be there, but merlin, was he not acting quartermaster then?

i have SO MANY FEELINGS about lee unwin

i think it haunts harry and merlin more than anyone thinks, but these are fun spy movies so we just don’t talk about trauma and shit, don’tcha know

don’t look at how merlin tears up and tell me he doesn’t drink about it *HEAVILY* later

it’s such a stark contrast to see the 1990s interior vs. what it’s like when eggsy’s grown :(

michelle baby i’m so sorry. you deserved better than this.

and BABY EGGSY

omg. like this scene is both heartbreaking but is also adorable.

colin firth has gd anime legs, that dude had to straight up unfold himself as he stood up lmao

aaannnnd swooping logo, whooooo, goin’ over some mountains~

and mark hamill, ladies and gentlemen!

this whole thing with james deciding to kinda go rogue makes me wish that we knew more about his backstory as well. like, is this james being james, or was this a weird one-off situation and he was just unlucky?

YES unlucky. nobody could plan for the hurricane of sleek destruction that is gazelle

who has one of my favorite aesthetic designs as a villain (although i guess i’d put her more on maybe henchman level? but idk, it seems like valentine looked at her more as a partner, less like an assistant? and they had a very interesting chemistry together too, like i would’ve added more valentine x gazelle scenes)

i would LOVE to be this chill about just—draping blankies over bodies

blankies over bodies sounds like a cool band name

DIBS you guys can’t have it

i am SO GLAD samuel l. jackson gave valentine a lisp!

valentine, to me, does fit a lot of the usual spy movie villain tropes

but since this movie doesn’t take itself super serious, it’s more fun than annoying

and we never hear about any of the other knights?? like

half of this is just gonna be me whining for additional footage that there just wouldn’t have been room for realistically lmao

michael caine, you are lovely

MARK STRONG, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

WITH LEGS THAT DON’T QUIT AND AN ACCENT THAT I’D DIE FOR

i’m an embarrassment

like let’s all stop and thank god that mark didn’t have time to learn the welsh accent

not that i would’ve been disappointed, because all accents are good accents on this blog

but at this point i can’t imagine merlin as—not scottish

“try picking a more suitable candidate this time”

arthur you DICK

like were you this cold-blooded when lee died, you fuckin’ reptilian-ass son of a bitch

no wonder you were charlie’s pledge person thing

and enter the fabulous taron egerton, stage left!

DEAN you are DISGUSTING

god, michelle, you need better friends, if you were my bro this entire relationship would’ve never happened

;-; and eggsy’s so sweet with his sister! i know there probably wasn’t “room” for it but i AM glad that there are scenes showing that family is one of eggsy’s kinda “core values”or whatever you want to call it

dude is a hufflepuff through and through imo

can you imagine eggsy as a villain? we would be so fucked. he’s sly, he’s smart, he could’ve made life v e r y difficult for lots of people if he really wanted to

but look at him with the squad!

eggsy’s just like the british version of a good ol’ boy

this car scene is some dukes of hazzard bullshit (ramp-jumping and fun car horn aside)

if butterflies are harry’s main symbolic critter, would foxes be eggsy’s? or would it be a pug instead? i guess that’s like asking if harry would be either a butterfly or a cairn terrier, like mr. pickle. let’s say both.

this fandom is pretty on top of character associations like that

you get symbolic associations! YOU get symbolic associations! EVERYONE gets symbolic associations whether they’re actually in the canon or not! don’t have any? don’t worry, we’ll assign you at least one!

the guy playing the interviewing officer is ALSO the patriarch in the witch which i didn’t realize until—like, a while after

and it was while @circlesofbone was visiting, and we were just “oh, okay, guess we can’t escape this cast at all, this is fine”

“your father saved my life.”

harry you’re such a fucking peacock, waiting all posted up and posing so you’ll look cool

you big doofus

i’d kill to be inside his head during this first conversation with eggsy though

like is eggsy like lee? is harry seeing lee the entire time he’s talking to his son, in his mannerisms, how he carries himself, how he speaks?

or is eggsy the opposite? which—i don’t know if that would somehow be sadder?

there’s just a lot going on in the background of this bit that’s left up to interpretation

“although i’m sure it’s well-founded—“

harry’s just so casual about this entire thing, nobody’s that casual without practice

harry you rabble-rouser, what kind of life have you led

“manners. maketh. man.”

our timeless motto, my flowers

kingsman STILL to this DAY has some of the most well-choreographed fight scenes i’ve ever seen??

like yeah the church scene but even just this initial bar fight

harry could’ve been a dancer

in a way i guess he already is

like he moves so fluidly and gracefully, it is BONKERS

colin you did so good! i’m so proud!

the way eggsy’s just O.O

whether or not you ship hartwin, like, you gotta admit, that was hot

and his BODY LANGUAGE, he’s sitting like RAMROD straight, this poor dude lmao

nobody prepares you for a situation like that in public school is all i’m saying

harry, exiting stage left like a suave, smooth motherfucker

remember when iggy azalea was relevant

ugghhhh i hate this part

“I WASN’T WITH NO ONE”

can you imagine being harry hart listening to your dead friend’s son getting the shit beat out of him

like, surely he heard the cleaver, he knows dean was going to fucking gut eggsy right?

listen to how cold and icy his voice gets, oof

yeah, he’s pissed, and dean is lucky

PARKOUR

ugh, i want to go to london ;-; i want to walk in front of the shop and visit harry’s house and kiss cute english boys

i’d like to think harry’s super excited to show eggsy everything but he’s gotta keep it dialed back because “decorum”

the way eggsy pauses though

“come on.”

and he says it so softly.

if i was eggsy, i’d be nervous, too.

but i didn’t realize how quickly harry tries to give off signals like “hey there’s no reason to be scared.”

“like my fair lady?” “well, you’re full of surprises.” <3 one of my favorite sceneeesss.

harry’s voice is so soothing but eggsy is so freaked out by the elevator that he’s just—there’s no room for anything else beyond processing the elevator lmao

“how deep does this fucking thing go?” asking the real questions

aannnddd KINGSMAN BULLET TRAIN

i’d like to think they have like soft jazz or something playing in there

and then they get to the hangar and there are obviously a buuuuunch of people out on the tarmac that we just—never hear about? i just assume they’re all like technical officers or maybe other agents

“your father had the same look on his face. … as did i.”

harry is already rooting for him.

“late again, sir.”

that. brogue.

fuck, i could listen to him talk for hours, scottish accents are my favorite thing

#squadgoals

not a very diverse cast :/

the body bag speeeeech

and of course nobody was in any actual danger, but merlin doesn’t want them to know that so he becomes mr. hard as steel, i am emotionally stoic at all times, do not test me you bunch of rugrats

“classic army technique.”

ROXY

ROXY I WANT TO JUST HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS TT.TT

aannnnddd charlie, also

who we might’ve found sympathy for if we knew aaannyytthiinnggg else about his backstory

like, could he just be Like That, yeah

but most people i know who are assholes like that are that way because their parents were first /shrug/

can hardly fault the dude for turning out like that when poison was all he was given to drink

anyone else a hundred percent positive they would’ve drowned in the first trial

i would absolutely have panicked and bit it

but then again, i’m not kingsman material, i’m roanoke

and if this is the exact same test that merlin and harry went through, does that mean there might be some weird drowning trauma hidden back in there that’s just ANOTHER thing we’re not gonna talk about?

(yes the correct answer is yes)

god that’s such an american response to the problem though

glass can’t cause problems if it’s in a million pieces!

“yeah you can wipe those smirks off your faces…”

i wonder if there was ever a situation where a trainee actually drowned

and i don’t mean like amelia, i mean some poor kid who just failed the test

merlin knows how to put the fear of god in people though!

and mark strong, very handsome, yes, very scary, also yes

he and colin both look like they’re 80 percent leg in every single scene

harry literally had brain matter smatter ALL OVER HIS FACE and still somehow had the mental facilities to be aware of those dudes, leave a bomb and dive out of a window (and then escape said dudes)

billy badass, y’all

“just get it done.” okay, i took back what i said earlier, maybe he does see her as more of an assistant, less than a partner. their relationship is weird.

the puppy scene!

“it’s a bulldog innit?”

YASSSS the golden trio

because of what happened with our other canon charlie has become a weird character for me to watch, like, yeah, i “watch” charlie be himself in tss but the charlie i “see” is like—”our” charlie.

“bollocks!” and then he just runs with jb in his vest, makes me smile

aannddd we see valentine’s super cool factory

harry your hair gets so long <3

“water!” wow, who wants to bet that the fact he was instantly screaming means that maybe he’s gonna have some stuff to talk about in therapy later

roxy baby i’m sorry they made you hold the balloon and have to trust these dumbasses to not shoot you on accident

i would trust roxy to not shoot me

i love, love love valentine’s house

it’s gorgeous

set design is always such a cool way for filmmakers to include details about a character using pure aesthetics and i’m such a slut for it

tilde!

see also: one of the characters done the WORST by these movies imo!

the fact that she not only says no, she says no with enthusiasm and gets blatantly pissed, is one of the best insights we get into tilde’s character and then it just—gets wasted

like it takes three steps and then gets mowed down in the hallway like her guards

i would never be given the opportunity to be asked if i wanted an implant but i draw the line at having stuff put into my neck

awwww harry’s so proud!

that finger point “yeah, see, be more like your uncle”

merlin is SO TALL

“a bit much innit?”

he’s just—tapping a normal clipboard

… nobody wanna talk about how that’s a normal clipboard

anyway

i also love how they show him in professor sweaters for the beginning acts of the movie

definitely a softer aesthetic than one would guess for a dude who apparently did field missions sometime within the past decade or so, but i also have a theory that lee’s death directly contributed to merlin maybe being the man behind the screen as opposed to afield

because trauma is a thing but this is a FUN movie so we’re NOT gonna talk about it

“you’re gonna be all right. you’re top of the class!” this was the scene that made my mom a reggsy shipper

regardless of how you feel about them as a couple, their friendship is one of the best things about this movie, along with their dynamic with charlie, asjdnaskdjna WHY could we not have had a trio movie instead

eggsy you show-off “lemme just throw my arms up and dip outta this plane like it’s not a big deal”

roxy you can do it!

ugh, there goes my baby, off to have a near-death experience under merlin’s immediate supervision lmao

“good girl, rox, glad you made it!”

guys, they’re just kids.

i love this big group scene because it reminds us that these are just young folks, still

“my, my, you’re all very cheerful...”

“rufus, come on!” dude eggsy—and not even just eggsy, charlie and rox too--at least made an attempt at teamwork. you get points for that bro

but man, for all they know, they’re about to beef it in a very permanent way, i’d be freaking out too

merlin getting caught up in the drama

because again, he’s supposed to know that eggsy has a parachute

i think he wasn’t prepared for these two to get that close to not making it and that’s why we see him break face and drop his mug

*WHAM*

i HATE the sound of them landing

it’s not like you can hear bones breaking but it hurts me, guys

and then there were three

plus one daddy long legs quartermaster

“if you have a complaint you come here and you whisper it in my ear.”

yes SIR

“you need to take that chip off your shoulder.”

merlin coming’ in with the tough love portion of the kingsman core squad

there’s no reason for me to think harry’s persona was inspired by cruella de ville somehow but i do anyway

she reveals the mcdonald’s and valentine is just :D

idk if he was expecting a specific reaction or was just excited to see a reaction period

valentine is definitely a fun villain, which, given the tone of the movie, makes sense, it’s all supposed to be fun

one of the reasons i love kingsman is that it’s like, this golden ray of goofy cinematic fuckery in a world of grim!dark remakes and other superhero/spy films who are presented as more serious stories

“and thank you for such a—happy, meal.”

harry got a puppy smile

but see, then, here at his house he’s a lot more relaxed with gazelle! like, patting her butt, etc.

maybe what we see of their relationship is dependent on setting, because valentine himself has it compartmentalized?

perrrrrrhaps

“and i am never, EVER GOING TO AGREE!”

tilde, you deserved better, and i think all the weird hate you get from our ohana is unfair

you don’t twist a runner’s ankle before the race starts and then get mad when they don’t win

your story was mishandled from the beginning

asmr: hanging out with the golden trio watching worrying news in the kingsman trainee bunker room

the way he says “biblical sense” lmao

i have never been able to figure out if the way he says that line is supposed to infer spiritual respect, or lack of it, but i might be looking too into it

“it’s an acquired taste, mate.”

what—what would you even do if you were at a club and three people as hot as taron, ed and sophie all came up and start talking to you at the same time

like i know the target got up and left pretty quick because of the training exercise

but i’d be doing it because i’m ugly and if three hot people are all talking me up at a bar something is Bad and Wrong

which—the CAHONES on both eggsy and roxy

they both literally said “yeah i’m willing to die for this organization that hasn’t even given me a permanent place yet, what of it”

look at harry’s dimples in this scene, he is fighting a huge grin, he’s SO PROUD

i know that charlie’s response is supposed to be just more fodder into the “charlie hesketh is a tool” fire

but given that i’m not unconvinced that his home life wasn’t super shitty, like—

idk, this makes this scene a lot less fun to me. it makes it sad.

like, maybe charlie didn’t even want to be there deep down, maybe this was all for like, arthur, or his dad, or some other person he looked up to

and the way merlin looks when he tells charlie to go home, the way that he’s kinda grimacing? i’m wondering if he’s along the same kind of feeling. he’d know more about charlie’s history

have i also mentioned how much i love harry’s war room?

“YES harry!”

an evil plan is being born!

“true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

eggsy is still in his club clothes, so like—has he slept? y’all let those kids sleep after fucking drugging them, right? … guys?

“—when one is popping ones cherry.”

and eggsy is just CHEESING he is SO EXCITED

am i the only one who wants to learn more about the store clerk guy though?

he’s like the one person around who’s legit just there to run the shop

has no idea about any of the spy stuff happening

his name is donald, he’s married with three children and has two spaniels he loves

“THAT is sick.”

i would KILL for this room.

i don’t need anything in here for any reason but still

foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing, more foreshadowing—

harry is such a NERD

“put it back, eggsy.”

the amount of self-control it would take to not have a sudden change in expression in that moment, omg

i wonder how THAT gets trained up in kingsman

“i guarantee it.” ha, get it, it’s a reference to that one commercial

“y’all—talk so funny.”

and this all means that they had a contact at that hat shop and got all that info to them before valentine got there, and somehow made sure he did end up buying a hat that they could also successfully put a bug on, how deep does this goooooo

“jack bauer?”

it says a lot about eggsy that out of all the jb’s it could’ve been, it was jack

uggghhhhhh of course they HAD to do this scene with eggsy with arthur

obviously harry couldn’t do it

i just think most of us would NOT be fans of arthur at this point in the movie, we’re all rooting for eggsy, like, he needs this moment with this other character because we gotta drive home that he’s an asshole

also—would have absolutely failed that test

and i’m not sorry at all

“welcome to kingsman--lancelot.”

i was really happy that it was a female agent who ended up getting the handle

aannddd more echoes of past scenes, man, nobody can say that this crew wasn’t intentional with their cinematography

when eggsy rolls the window down you can see his chest moving up and down, like, he is MAD

dean you asshole

so no wonder he gets so pissed that the car suddenly decides “nope, no, we’re not doing this, c’mon”

this entire conversation at harry’s house is—tense

and you don’t pick up on it the first time, i don’t think, but uh

i’m seeing it now

harry’s not just mad, he’s hurt, and eggsy’s furious but he’s also maybe regretting his actions.

it’s these two men who are rapidly trying to figure out their headspaces and trying to figure out how to navigate this situation with each other

and the way eggsy tries to apologize ;-;

kentucky is a beautiful state, actually

ohhhhhh y’alllll

we’re at the churrrccchhhh

we’re gettin’ closer to the coolest part of the movieeeee

it’s telling that gazelle was trying to make sure that they’d be safe

“… so hail satan, and have a lovely afternoon madame.”

the most metal lines colin firth has ever uttered on camera

the siren noise after it’s switched on bothers me in a way i can’t quite articulate

it might be because i have silent hill-colored trauma, who knows

FREEEEEE

BIIIRRRDDDDDDD

THE GREATEST ACTION TRACKING SHOT IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA

but then eggsy and merlin are reacting aaaanndddd it’s—a lot less fun

because you realize that they’re watching their bro mercilessly slaughter innocent people and not stopping

and still not stopping

but plot twist, i’m really glad they kept the track going, because if they’d suddenly picked *this* part of the scene to get serious, that would’ve brought the mood down so low that i don’t think there would’ve been any bouncing back

i just

how do people exist who aren’t attracted to harry hart

that man is a machine

and colin worked so hard to be able to do the scene himself, and that work SHOWS, that man cuts a FIGURE

i don’t know how they managed to somber it up just the right amount, either? maybe because they waited for the “fun action sequence” to be over so there wouldn’t need to be noise that had to be masked by a fun rock track?

“… what did you do to me.”

i cannot imagine what harry was feeling in that moment.

the way he spoke it was like he didn’t even have time to be afraid to die

“that tends to happen when you shoot somebody in the head. feels good, right?”

“no, it does not feel good!”

i love that exchange because we normally hear the opposite.

also—whiplash.

mark has this way of expressing grief without showing any—blatant signs.

like merlin’s not especially tearful, or crying, but his eyes look MASSIVE. and SAD. and he has just the tiiiiiniest tremor in his voice.

and eggsy, dude, like, we’ve all had it come on us really quick and suddenly it’s like your chest is pumping like a piston and when did it get so hard to breathe?

ARTHUR you REPULSE me

like look at how egssy’s shoulders sag when he realizes that arthur isn’t on his team

and in a way, this is eggsy’s final test as a kingsman trainee, imo

do you realize how quickly he had to assess what was happening and figure out what to do, all without arthur noticing?

“you are all alone. it is all up to you. remember all you have learned. good luck.”

it’s a very—almost horror-esque situation from that pov

and he passed with flying colors to go on his first true mission, because after he puts on the suit, that’s his visual cue of graduating, if that makes sense

that’s the knight putting on his armor.

“i’d rather be with harry. thanks.”

“so be it.”

*click*

me: *laughing at arthur’s big dumb stupid head*

… man i’d love a replica of that decanter and glasses set though

not to mention that eggsy recognized the flaws in arthur’s character and weaponized them, which is a whole other level of shit that isn’t necessarily easy; he knew that arthur carried the kind of pride that would leave him open

god, he looks so exhausted though when rox has him at gunpoint.

i think he was being pretty serious, about harry

sick helipaaaaaaad

that thing looks vaguely like a rock-‘em sock-‘em robot but in pieces though

more grandpa sweaters <3

man. you can see roxy swallow, you know she’s scared, but then she just sets her jaw and—

roxy baby you are the best i love you

i like the vintage vibe of the mountain lair

i think that’s another visual poke at the aesthetic themes of some of the older, og spy flicks out there

merlin looks SO LANKY walking back to the plane for some reason??

he stays until the last second for roxy. that’s love right there.

“a bespoke suit always fits.”

which can be good spiritual life advice too but that’s a separate conversation

“what the fuck is WRONG with you people?”

and his fuckin’ disco ball

uuggggghhhhh his speech reminds me of so many… “public figures” that i dislike

even though it’s obviously a bad thing that the chips are everywhere, i appreciate that phones and such are being shown in a positive manner (like, michelle talking to someone in the park, people at a ball game taking selfies, people at the beach, etc.) because i get so sick of that anti-tech boomer humor tbh

and the big reveal of eggsy in his suitttt

A KNIGHT IS BORN

“how’s the view?”

“hideous.”

you’re allowed to be crabby baby, you just let it out.

“lookin’ good, eggsy.”

“feelin’ good, merlin.”

merlin is so calm heading into the fortress and i don’t know if it’s because he’s very, very good at compartmentalizing and that’s genuinely how he is at the moment or if he’s that way through extreme self-control and effort

he can rock a pilot’s uniform though

just like eggsy can rock a suit

they’re both so handsome, help

i also wonder how eggsy’s feeling right then

like, i’d imagine that the pressure of having to perform a role to literally save the world would be enough to distract him from the bite of grief

that’s—probably enough to distract everyone, tbh

i a hundred percent believe there are breakdowns we don’t see

i wonder if eggsy told tilde he’d spoken to lindstrum(sp?) after everything was said and done

like, that’d be some kind of weird foreshadowing in hindsight

this scene is anxiety-inducing in a big way so to distract myself i imagine roxy as a mech pilot

dude i’d totally watch sophie in a role like that, like, let her be in a movie like pacific rim, she’d kick ass

and now we have The Chaos

otherwise known as that point when Everything Is Happening All At Once All The Time

also a thing that doesn’t exist in spy movies: hearing damage

because like his voice is right in eggsy’s ear and without it he’d have a LOT harder time surviving

imagine being an agent, merlin trying to talk to you, but something either hits your ear or goes off right next to it and suddenly it’s just silent

SYSTEM FAILURE

YAAASSSSS

WE WIN

GGOOOAAAAALLLLLL

THE AUDIENCE IS DOING THE WAVE

except JUST KIDDING

The Chaos 2 Electric Boogaloo!

merlin with a huge gun: hot, also, very scary

eggsy is just 10000% done

“this is mine. i’ll show you yours.”

i wonder who e man was supposed to be that valentine called.

like is that a reference to a real person that i just did’t catch?

… elon musk? maybe? idk

eggsy slides like a gd anime character

when he uses the rainmaker, it’s just like harry’s protecting him from somewhere else

(oh—wait, technically kentucky, i guess)

“merlin, i’m fucked.” you can hear the anger there. not only did he fail, but he—and everyone else—is about to die

but this? this is the pinnacle of eggsy showing himself as a kingman agent

he was staring death straight in the mouth and STILL

SOMEHOW

REMEMBERED THE IMPLANTS

so i guess if i say that the moment when he puts on the suit is when he becomes a true agent, then maybe this is the moment when he becomes galahad.

*bobs head to pomp & circumstance*

i remember getting a huge kick out of how colorful they made this

because in real life you know a bunch of people literally blowing up would be like—DISGUSTING

viscera everywhere

no fun rainbow mushroom clouds

“i’ve always wanted to kiss a princess.”

ANOTHER knight reference, very clever matthew

mmmmm Do Not Like that noise

aaaannndddd *that* line

which—maybe that’s mr. vaughn’s sense of humor, or what he thinks the sense of humor his core demographic has, idk

but it always kinda rubbed me the wrong way

the mass brawl scenes are edited so like--jarringly compared to the other fight scenes in the movie

that’s probably for a reason

also, a showdown to the tune of something disco: kind of another trope homage

this shot of gazelle is so sick, i love everything about it, she is so cool

this entire fight with eggsy is awesome tbh

we got a little bit of what gazelle can look like in combat earlier with tilde’s guards, but now we get this epic showdown seeing her at her full potential against someone who’s actually a challenge

and the way valentine is shouting for her to kick his ass from upstairs and yelling encouragement lmao that’s how real friends act when there’s a fight

daisy ;-; ugh, that’s the visual gutpunch that makes it juuuuuust serious enough by reminding us of the stakes

which is why it’s fitting that then we see the Slo-Mo K.O.

and that smile with the fun little chimes in the back, lmao

and eggsy, quick on his feet again byyyy being quick on gazelle’s feet—foot—whatever

man, impalement deaths are always fun.

coulda done without the vomiting but that’s also one of valentine’s quirks that makes him different from a cookie cutter villain

aaannddd have a heavy sigh from merlin

that dude needs a full-body massage and a drink

“is this where you say some really bad pun?”

reminder: i love that this movie is self-aware! i could not picture a super serious kingsman movie! i just picture something depressing!

there had to have been a better option besides—this, for this eggsy/tilde ending scene

i’m not saying i’m mad it ended with them fucking, i’m mad that the extent of the joke was anal and that was it.

also the idea of my boss possibly seeing me having sex would have me a little more concerned about the hardware on my face, but okay??

aannddd the tapes.

gah, we love visual throwbacks!

we love being able to see that despite all this growth and change, family remains very important to eggsy—he hasn’t changed into a different person, he has grown more into himself than ever before! THIS! THIS is eggsy unwin!

… GET READY FOR IT

time for tgc! (and to get into my roanoke feels, maybe, this is the nexus where our canons connect)

the BAGPIPES

okay

i did not stop to consider how unpleasant this was going to be to watch stoned but we’re gonna power through it and get through it together

if i cry i cry

the way the music swells into the main theme <3

and the perfect reveal for our boy eggsy!

reflected in gold, looking sharper than broken glass

and SUDDENLY CHARLIE

the pacing in tgc leads me to believe that matthew had huge plans for this movie, and a lot of cool stuff probably ended up on the cutting room floor for time

i also love that they brought charlie back

i love his voice box and his cool robot arm

and i’m not just saying that because it made it super easy to blend him into our canon, either, this is like—charlie’s evil twin in terms of his new aesthetic, the contrast is really cool

YYAASSSS THIS SCENE

WITH PRINCE PLAYING??

*CHEF’S KISS*

like we are IMMEDIATELY thrown back into the gold parts of it all, like how physics is a little broken so we can do cool shit like have a knockdown drag-out fight all within the space of a small cab

i wonder what would’ve hurt charlie worse—being thrown onto his organic side, or having all his weight land on his metal arm if it hadn’t disattached

but then he’s up and standing so i guess we’re fine?

MERLIN! <3

otherwise known as the character entrance that literally changed my life

i try not to think about it too much or i get weirded out

ANYWAY

(and to think i almost never even saw the movie)

Sick Car Chase, Bro

and as an american, like, everything’s on the opposite side to me, it’s stressful to watch a little bit

“i seem to remember in your training you were rather good at holding your breath.”

man, that’s uh—kind of a macabre thing to say, merlin

just a little bit

i’m not even gonna attempt to hold my breath to see if i’d survive this scene just assume i’m dead in that universe

we all live in a kingsman subarmine, a kingsman submarine, a kingsman submarine~~

“not boasting, but i trained him well enough that even he wouldn't mess that up.”

merlin are you okay??

gah, i love that chest-deep laugh though.

is it real love if they won’t crawl through the sewer to get to your house in time

i love that harry’s house looks basically the same

i know they talk about eggsy not wanting to change anything in the novelization but i haven’t read it yet so I’m not a hundred percent sure what all is in there

and we still get to see him hanging with his friends, and his girlfriend, like, this dude is still all about the family

“wwwwOOOOO!”

i love this group so much omg

for as much as he’s galahad, he’s still eggsy

the transition in the weed bag looks super cool

… oh, i guess watching this while high makes the main storyline hit a bit different

welp

i love that poppy is an aesthetic slut and really doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion about how she makes her space

like, “i want a big 50s-style diner with a gourmet kitchen that i can cook people in, soooooo i’m getting one”

it’s also refreshing to see julianne moore in a bad guy role!

not that i’m super familiar with her filmography but i feel like i’ve mostly seen her cast as like a good guy?

i could be wrong

awwwww jet and bennie!

there’s so much to love about this set

cannibalism and the fact that she bulldozed jungle to build all this aside (suspend that belief!)

the breakfast sceeeeeene

it’s so bittersweet, for obvious reasons

and it’s more evidence that he’s not super ready to move on into new territory yet, like making new memories with tilde that ring close to home

“i wish i could have met him.”

and the way he has to turn away, ugh.

eggsy. i’m sorry.

tilde, i’m sorry, too. you had good intentions, but they lost against his pain.

michael gambdon! the new arthur we didn’t know we wanted until we got him.

charlie had a moral glo-down, it’s fine, happens to everybody

FFFFFF his imitation of merlin lmfao

man, poor charlie, like

you wake up, you can’t make a sound, your arm has been blown off and your family’s dead

like his reaction to that entire scenario isn’t entirely unrealistic, i’m just saying

also LOOK AT ROX

omg everyone in this movie can wear the FUCK out of suit, y’all

man, i’ve gotten a few tattoos that were exquisitely painful—i can’t imagine how much it would suck to do it with literal molten metal

dude this means clara laid on her stomach and probably screamed at the floor as she got hers D:

this kinda—riffs off of hannibal, a teeny-tiny bit

like we’re so overloaded with the aesthetics and behavior of a certain character so it’s like, we forget about the much darker parts untillllll there’s a mood change and we’re looking at that dude’s legs, to the burger this other dude puts in his mouth, and thinking “oh, oh dear, ew”

i love eggsy in the orange jacket <3 snaps for the wardrobe crew across this series.

tilde’s face, omg, she was heart-eyeing so bad. and like, that little proud nod at her dad (who was of course being Like That on purpose)

and roxy, coming in in the clutch, you are tonight’s MVP

uggghhhhh i hate this part

because again, it’s just--a bunch of bad shit colliding outside of anyone’s control

(it was also really jarring seeing the war room with blank walls the first time i watched this)

like—granted, you should maybe not touch stuff that’s not yours, but…

like we *just* saw eggsy and brandon in a very casual, intimate scene with each other, how can anyone get angry with brandon?

this is all stress-inducing

i remember being in the theater watching this and feeling like i was watching some awful slow motion car wreck and i couldn’t look away

idk what other story i would’ve wanted to see but i was NOT a fan of Sudden Death For Christmas, especially concerning roxy!

and poppy is such a *bright* villain, not just because of taste but because of her personality, which is another weird thing to have next to the cannibalism

gaaahhhh charlieeee your arm is so cooooool

this shot is gorgeous and incredibly depressing.

what do you do?

gah, and the way merlin comes out of the dark, like

i probably would’ve drawn a gun on him too

“you think *i* would?”

this scene shows 1. how much he trusts eggsy to not shoot him, and/or 2. how good merlin is at compartmentalizing, because this is an even bigger blow than harry’s death, and he’s following the protocol like it’s an art form

i hope that we see some reference to this safe in the next movie, that’d be a cool way to tie the narratives all together

“i suppose that must be upper class humor. … i don’t get it.”

reminder, merlin is working class.

if you’re a ho for this fandom and went and bought this whiskey specifically because of this movie clap your hands *clap clap*

and they proceed to just get HAMMERED

“country rooaaddsss… take me hoooooome…”

another reminder: kentucky is a beautiful state!

i would love to tour a whiskey distillery, that’d be super cool

“shame it’s not scotch”

again, with his weird night vale clipboard.

who would win: two highly-trained kingsman agents vs. one (1) cowboy

channing tatum, ladies and gentlemen!

“y’all look damn sharp!”

i am forever gonna be mad we didn’t get more of tequila in this movie, and not just because of roanoke either, but like, “that dog don’t hunt,” whatever he has in his mouth sealed a leak in a barrel, and it took him all of two minutes to incapacitate both eggsy AND merlin? hello??

i’m glad we’ll get to see more of him in the another movie.

“you know why the measurement of alcohol is called proof?”

just dumping it on their laps, so disrespectful

“—and you can go fuck yourself.”

eggsy fucking just giggling.

these two doofuses

also it’s hot to see merlin be sassy ngl

“HARRY!”

these guys have been fast thinkers in stressful situations but as it turns out, people being unexpectedly not dead can kinda fuck with your day

aaannddd halle berry, everybody! i love ginger ale omg

(and so does merlin, he is instantly enchanted)

;-; this reunion scene

i don’t know how colin manages to be two completely different people at once

like there’s a huge difference between former agent galahad and harry hart the lepidopterist and i can’t explain it

i really, really hope we see at least one little hint at kinsman’s relationship with statesman in the new movie, i just think it’d be really cool

in roanoke canon, there’s an office rumor that the nanobot tech used by statesman was influenced directly by the same technology developed by dr. wernicke in the outlast games. i still think it’s one of my better crossover ideas.

also

god bless whoever decided to get elton john involved with all this?? because i was DELIGHTED

i love poppy’s wardrobe as much as i love her weird 50s-land in the jungle

i also really love the main statesman theme? it reminds me of all those fun epic westerns

jeff bridges! :D

champ vaguely reminds me of my dad

“can you imagine us in the tailor business?”

and he’s super quick with the questions. my headcanons for champ are all over the place but one that i really like is that he was maybe a sheriff or in law enforcement before being recruited by statesman.

aaanndddd pedro pascal, everybody!

otherwise known as *another* character that this movie did dirty, that’ll probably come up in this later

imagine being harry hart, not remember all of yourself, and suddenly your entire room just—fills with water

that had to have been so terrifying, and it was just as hard for merlin to watch (and possibly remember something unpleasant)

and like

that sounds like SUCH bullshit, too, like “yeah we thought if you came close to drowning it would help”

which, is that what merlin meant, no, but is that what harry heard, probably

enter jb the second ;-; <3 sweet baby

tilde’s trying so hard. i see you!

aha, penis jokes.

and all of the unnecessary weird festival stuff, uuggghh

there are so many different things they could have done, like, all of this is just weird from the get-go

first of all, whiskey striking out? hello?? saying no to a man like mr. pascal???

not realistic

the way whiskey takes a shot as he walks away lmao, relatable

and poor clara, like, it’s not like she was asking for any of this D:

hmmmmmmm don’t know how i feel being a stoner watching other stoners get this blue rash thing when i know it kills some of themmmmmmm

i love charlie in his newsboys cap!

poppy has a little bit of a point. like, booze is way more dangerous than pot, as is tobacco. like i would never advocate anyone try meth or heroin, but i think weed and some hallucinogenics get bad wraps.

seeing a dude get torn in half in the reflection of elton john’s sunglasses is the surprising bit of gore we need to remember that oh, yeah, the villain isn’t fun, she’s a murderer

uuggghhhh the TENT SCENE

and, look, i’ll defend tilde forever, but i did NOT like the weird marriage ultimatum. i still think it’s a dick move, like, in that situation either decide to trust your boyfriend or break up with him

the tent interior is super cool-looking

and like, man, he tried, he tried to bounce D:

/sigh/ work hazards, i guess

mmmmmm we don’t need any of what’s happening on screen right now so i’ll just sit patiently and wait for it to be over

and like, there’s nothing funny about merlin and ginger being able to hear everything that’s going on, it’s so grosssss, poor ginger has to have heard some shit before to be so nonchalant about it

everything about this sucks

and then he tries going to the one person who he needs the most and having to deal with him still existing in some state between alive and dead

his body is here

but harry is not

“maggots turn into flies, perhaps you mean larvae!” :D he is SO CUTE

but this entire conversation, with harry still not remembering and eggsy trying so hard to reach him through the fog, is so depressing

like, i’d need a drink too

*and* a joint

i’m seeing my coping mechanisms on screen here folks

the way he comes up with the idea is kinda ingenious though

like, he’s looking at stuff to make himself bummed on purpose, but therein he finds the thing he needs to fix the issue

harry’s smile when eggsy hands him the puppy TT.TT

and then eggsy just becomes a stone cold motherfucker with no emotions

“no one’s sick enough to shoot a puppy!”

hi, flashback!harry

and as SOON as he remembers himself, it’s like his eyes are different, something about him looks like it did before kentucky

“… eggsy.”

one of my favorite movie hugs

and eggsy has to stand on his tiptoes because harry’s so tall

like yeah merlin and harry’s reunion isn’t as overtly emotional, but there’s definitely a sense of joy and relief there.

harry my baby ;-; much better with the sunglasses (and merlin was so close to telling him he looked spectacular)

“now is that any way to welcome a visit from outta town, moonshine?”

he! tried! to! defend! harry!

i hate that jack got a villain story line!

we could’ve had something so much better and infinitely more compelling!

“hurrrr durrrr morgan you just like redemption arcs because you don’t want anybody being a villain permanently” i also like them because sometimes that’s better writing, y’all sit down

“that is NOT what i call a kentucky welcome.”

i love so many things happening in this scene, like

we get to see whiskey kick ass, like yassss gimme those sweet action sequences and give us some character development by showcasing his fighting style

and also NOBODY shits on harry for not being able to handle the situation. both eggsy and merlin were like “dude we’re still celebrating the fact that you’re alive tbh it’s fine if you’re not back up to speed right this second”

you can really tell that this was penned by british people writing american slang because having grown up in the southern half of the u.s. i have never ONCE heard ANYONE say shit like “i feel like a tornado in a trailer park” lmao

and poppy’s fun little death threat infomercial, so great

“what have you done to me you FUCKING BITCH” oof, that’s a mood

!!!!! gonna be honest i kinda forgot that bruce greenwood plays the president

okay but save lives, legalize isn’t an entirely bad idea tbh

hnnnnnnng the scenes about people not being able to get into the hospital hits different in the year of our lord 2020 huh

… y’all i’m being weirded out by all this hospital scenes, this is unpleasant

i, too, wish i could pull a tequila and just be slipped into a chilly coma until shit wasn’t so fucked up

“the fact is, this presidency has won the war on drugs!”

THIS SCENE!

look, y’all can come into my inbox and call me a pothead, or a lazy stoner, or some third insult, but this dude’s VP is bringing up some very, VERY important points when it comes to any kind of discussion about drug use in the u.s.

am i drug-friendly, sure, but i’m more friendly to the notion that we stop demonizing addicts/users

harry looks fucking SCANDALIZED when he sees champ spit into his spittoon thing

i don’t think whiskey even brought up harry not being ready to return to the field in an insulting manner, he literally just saw him get his ass beat in a bar, but eggsy’s faith and loyalty are up there in the category of unstoppable force/immovable object, so here we are

am i the only one curious about the whole charlie x clara thing? because he’s definitely grown up a bit by tgc, and i wanna know how much of that might be because of clara

and he MISSES, e for effort harry

“so sorry about this—“ WHAM

and now that guy can say colin firth busted his face with a fire extinguisher, which is very cool

“*you’re* wu ting feng?” “… yes?”

“you motherFUCKER” ohhhhhh charlie maaaaaad

ginger and merlin though, #couplegoals

the only person more pissed off about the hallucinations than everyone else is harry

imagine remembering that you’re one of the top people in your field and you just keep seeing imaginary butterflies everywhere

like, yeah, i’d be pissed at not being able to do what i knew i was capable of, too

if it wasn’t careening towards a random retirement center, getting stuck in a wildly rotating gondola thing could be fun

nice tuesday afternoon activity

i would loved to have seen more galahad/whiskey field stuff

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me—“

meanwhile, in the continuing adventures of eggsy and jack: shit goes from bad to worse like a formal spiral only going downward

their expressions as their both just SCREAMING always make me laugh

”that’s the first decent shit i’ve had in three weeks.” <- as does that line, that old dude’s just telling it like it is

eggsy’s comment about the antidote just reminds me of when boromir looks a the ring and says something like “all this for such a tiny thing”

dun dun DUN what are THOSE? hints that whiskey may not be who we think he is??

great. so excited about that. i say, rolling my eyes into the sun

“i’ll fix their wagons.” no one says that matthew!

i. love. this. scene. because now we get cool gun tricks AND the second most metal thing that happens with a lasso in this movie (we’re coming up on the most metal thing)

like please please PLEASE show us more lasso tricks in the statesman movie

“well thank fuckin’ christ i didn’t need any backup.” i wonder if whiskey’s acting angrier than he actually is to throw off the fact that he might’ve caught harry’s glance at him betraying suspicion

RIP jack

imagine the timeline where whiskey was never a bad guy and harry hart just blew a dude away for NO REASON

now THAT would be an interesting movie

because harry and eggsy, for all they went through in the first film, never had a conflict where it was harry in the position of mangling the ropes up

but of course eggsy would never, never tell merlin what happened because he’s still ultimately on harry’s team

damn, charlie, literally blowing up your girlfriend seems kinda extreme

“THIS is vital!”

and here we get to see the biggest difference between merlin and ginger

now, i know there’s extra stuff in the novelization about their relationship and i can’t talk about it because i have no idea what’s in the book

but!

i DO still headcanon as merlin quitting fieldwork after lee’s death

his comment is either what he genuinely believes, or maybe what he fashioned his beliefs into after stepping down from his field role, and ginger is just as sincere in her desire to break into that aspect of working for statesman

it’s like seeing the same character but in two points in time, and it’s really cool

that balance would’ve also been a fun aspect of their romantic relationship to explore but alas! ’twas not to be

colin and mark could both play slenderman

look at those limbs.

gracious.

also this facetime scene with eggsy and tilde T.T

that has to be so terrifying to watch when you know the steps of death and what they look like as they get closer

but it also puts a fire under eggsy though

“i’m leaving with, or without you.”

and of course they’re both gonna go because that’s NOT characteristic eggsy behavior based off of how we know he views family/squad

that’s how they know he’s being for cereal

uugggggGGHHHH and THAT FORESHADOING

stacey pruitt, attorney at lawwwww

hmmmmmmmmm

what does this conversation between poppy and the president remind me of

gonna just sigh into the void

and now we have harry and eggsy on the jet along with the BIGGEST LIE harry hart has ever told in his LIFE

kingsman and statesman aesthetics at least tend to be the same color schemes. lotta golds, yellows. browns.

eggsy, yeah, it’s a bummer your gf dumped you, but this relationship wasn’t very well-developed or written so i’m not as bummed as i could be

“… and in that moment, all i felt was loneliness and regret.”

harry shut the FUCK UP

you felt NOTHING??

you weren’t thinking of, gee, i dunno, EGGSY? or MERLIN?? your MOM???

like these lines from him just seem to come out of left field and i can’t even halfway suspend my belief long enough to come close to believing him

like mr. hart you just gonna be like that in front of jesus and everybody????

so, yeah, of course he’s on board with saving tilde! because he recognizes (apparently just right that second) that “having something to lose is what makes life worth living”

and i don’t know if they felt like there need to be some weird, deeply contrasting reason for harry to swing around to being in support? or something?

i’m forever pissed about this characterization and i don’t even know if i’m expressing my anger in a way that makes it easy to understand lmao this is fine, i’m fine, literally not a single person in this fandom ever believed those lines anyway, it’s fine

moving on

... and even if they WERE true then honestly that just makes me more excited about butterfly knife, because that means that harry acknowledged both the bad side of the coin, and also the side with rae on it (which would mean seeing her for who she was and also recognizing his feelings for what THEY were) and drew the ultimately correct conclucision that love! is! always! worth! it! let that shit in like a welcome guest in the home of your heart, and they will stay as long as you let them!

as SOON as he wakes up ginger looks a thousand percent done lmao

and the “process” that they use to wake people up or whatever is—interesting

because all it is, is trauma turned into a tool which is kind of a weird concept to see in a “fun spy movie” imo

and this is one of what i feel were like only what, two? glimpses we get into whiskey’s Tragic Backstory

and the other scene isn’t a glimpse it’s just straight up exposition in his dialogue :/

jack, i’m sorry, you deserved better than this as a character

i’m sure the name “silver pony” is a reference to something but i don’t know what

“lookin’ GOOD merlin!” “feelin’ good, eggsy.”

ladies and gentlemen when i tell you that i lost my pool-noodle mind seeing him put on that suit watching this in a theater, i--

ANYWAY

because now that i have the horrible burden of having seen these movies a million times

i know it’s more symbolic

he stays in sweaters so long, as an agent of the background, because he walked a man to his death

so it figures when he puts the armor back on for the first time in ages

he walks to his own

uuuggghhhh the minesweeper

i hate this

i hate it

i hate everything about the feelings i’m having while this is happening

*beep-beep*

“you move, we die.”

i HATE IT

but like, i don’t know, how preferable is this to the end scene we almost got, which was merlin dragging his newly-legless corpse through a doggy door?

because it’s been literally multiple years and i still have no fucking idea

they’re both horrible in their own terrible, awful ways

damn, matthew, it’s not often someone manages to come up with multiple versions of a thing and have every version be so gut-wrenchingly horrific, i’m truly impressed and completely disgusted

“do as your told!”

god

everyone just going through twenty shades of Bad Feelings in the space of fifteen seconds here in the jungle

and colin and taron do this thing where it’s like—their eyes go dead? like, there was a light here, it’s gone now

it SUCKS

oh no

ALMOST HEAVEN

WEST VIRGINIA

… fuck

LIFE IS OLD THERE

OLDER THAN THE TREES

“… singing?”

this sucks.

this sucks this sucks this sucks

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAA

TAKE ME HOOOOME

COUNTRY ROOOADDSSSSS

*THUNK*

and he even took off his glasses before he hit him, he had his end coming towards him and he was still a gentleman

TAKE ME HOOOME

COUNTRY RROOOOAAAADDDSSSSS

his EYES AT THE END

FUCK

… okay i had to get up and go for a lil’ walk

anyway

(and again, roanoke canon, fucking fixing’ shit left and right, because we’re the goat)

harry and eggsy look MURDEREROUS

MERLIN SAID KNOCK YOU OUT

it DID make the grand ending fun action scene a lot more satisfying

because like, without merlin there, that means harry and eggsy get to go full feral

poppy you big idiot you just robbed them of all their motivation to show any kind of restraint and now everybody’s gonna get blown up

except for those dudes who get kicked by elton john

which would be an HONOR first of all

(the part where eggsy’s using his gun and shield vaguely reminds me of the specialist, @bloodofthepen)

and harry and eggsy just—they’re drift compatible! that’s it! the teamwork! the grace! the flow! my god!

eggsy vs. charlie: round like 4 if you count the first movie

it was also satisfying to see charlie’s new arm in action

we love fun robotics and gadgetry in this house

colin firth is really just not afraid to throw himself full force down a bowling lane huh

ugh, seeing charlie slam eggsy over and over again makes my chest hurt

the sound mixing on all these films is top notch which isn’t always a good thing T.T

ROCKETMAN~~~

that shit will never NOT be funny

a wild elton john appeared!

eggsy is indestructible, he can walk off anything

but charlie, charlie i feel really sorry for, imagine being attacked by a superior version of your own limb, i.e. something that you can’t exactly quickly remove from yourself, that would be TERRIFYING

harry + elton = dream teaaaammmm

“darling if you save the world, you can have a backstage pass.”

i love you elton john :(

i would have been the most OBNOXIOUS hype man in the background of the entire kingsman vs. poppy land face-off

“let’s make this fair.” eggsy you’re fuckin’ cheeky

and poor harry, all that lank just getting tossed like noodles

i thought the robot puppers were very cool

“for the record charlie i’m more of a gentleman than you’ll ever be.”

mmmmmm do NOT like this death for charlie

SUPER glad we fixed it

and another scene where i can’t stand the sound mixing T.T it makes me cringe every time

“i don’t consider genocide especially lady-like.”

and are we gonna talk about how merlin knew how to make heroin?

… no?

nobody wanna talk about that?

ugh that houndstooth dress is so PRETTY though

high!poppy is weirdly comedic for all of two seconds and then it stops being funny real fast

whiskey D:<

this is so dumb

this is all so, so dumb

“our agencies were founded to uphold peace, to protect the innocent—“

there’s that nobility again

is what happened to whiskey fucked up, yes

i’m not saying we have to completely remove that from his story

i just

literally anything but this would have been preferable

and then HOT DOG it’s one of my favorite shots in the movie with the whip where harry’s just chucking it away from his face like a bamf, YES

how great is this cover, let’s be honest

like, i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy this scene visually

plus

HARRY GETTING PEGGED RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A FRYING PAN

gracious

it’s one fluid tracking shot, so kinda in alignmentment with what we’re used to

some people get annoyed with repeated junk but when you can do it THIS WELL you can get away with anything

but then jack

you did NOT desert that

yes, you were in dire need of an attitude adjustment but jesus

“this is for you, merlin.”

/ugly sobbing/

and tilde is all betterrrrrr ;-;

you guys did itttttt

COUNTRY ROOOAAADDSS

TAKE ME HOOOOOOMMEEEE

TO THE PLAAAAAACCCEEEEE

I BELOOOOONNGGGG

and the scene with jamal and liam T.T #wholesomecontent

poor tequila, after i knew that you would have a bigger role in another movie, i was less annoyed by the fact that they iced you so quick into the story

#FOX2020

“… now we’re brothers, working side by side.”

spoiler alert i actually love champ’s toast

“y’all shittin’ in high cotton now” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

and ginger becomes the new whiskey like she always wanted T.T

merlin is proud from heaven (or london, depending on which canon)

iiiiiii have mixed feelings about the whole wedding scene, which is probably because i take HUGE issue with the weird proposal ultimatum thing that happened earlier

but the way eggsy says “not a doubt in my mind,” he says it so seriously and i remember that tilde almost died

there was such good intention packed into this couple that was so badly written that i just

augh

“but it is perhaps the end of the beginning.”

there’s ***merlin! lmao i see you dude, they did you dirty

look

i was pissed off about a lot of things that happened in this thing but i was honestly hype seeing tequila at the very end walking into the tailor shop

like, yeah, i’ll stick around to see what happens in this universe but i’m gonna complain the whole time

GO JACK RABBIT

RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS

and again, i almost didn’t see this movie.

… i think about that morgan sometimes.

hope she’s doin’ okay.

…

she’s probably not. D:

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